


Even a Fool Knows

by besthonestliar



Series: Even A Fool Knows [1]
Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Homophobia, Idiots in Love, Inspired by the On Track MV, Jeongin is a cinnamon roll, M/M, Pining, Slow Burn, Teen Angst, hyunjin is a mess, oneshot that spiralled out of control, protect Jeongin, seungmin evil genius, the story we all wanted
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-11
Updated: 2020-04-11
Packaged: 2021-03-01 16:40:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 28,375
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23600206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/besthonestliar/pseuds/besthonestliar
Summary: The whole set was so quiet you could hear a pin drop. Hyunjin dared to look upwards, into the setting sun.What the hell was he doing?[Following the build up and events after the On Track music video.]
Relationships: Hwang Hyunjin/Yang Jeongin | I.N, hints of other ships
Series: Even A Fool Knows [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1924225
Comments: 34
Kudos: 224





	Even a Fool Knows

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone,  
> This is my first ever Stray Kids fic and first fic about REAL people so I hope you like it...  
> Basically I noticed there aren't that many fanfics based on the new mv, so I decided to make my own twist...
> 
> The girl in the music video is named Jeongyeon, I didn't base her on Twice's Jeongyeon but only chose the name because it's similar to Jeongin's which is some nice irony. 
> 
> This is also the first fic I've ever finished writing, so yahoo!
> 
> Disclaimer: What I have written does not reflect on my personal feelings towards the members of Stray Kids

“Scene: Ending, take one!” called Felix as he clapped the slate. Near the balcony, Chan held the boom mic, stretching his arms high to keep it out the shot, visibly straining with the effort. Changbin looked approvingly at the pink-tinged sunset framing the background as Seungmin flicked through the script of the confession scene. Jisung nodded from where he was by the lights and screens. Jeongin was leaning against the wall.

Hyunjin was holding the camera, filming Minho and Jeongyeon as they stood together, a metre between them. He knew what was meant to happen in the scene. Minho was meant to grab Jeongyeon’s hand and finally confess to her and as they moved towards each other, Hyunjin would zoom in and cut the take just before they actually kissed.

But as Hyunjin watched Minho walk closer to Jeongyeon out of the grainy screen on the video camera, his mind was filled with nothing but jealousy as flash after flash of memories played. The way Minho had smiled at Jeongyeon in the editing room, the way he’d looked at her as they ran together, how he’d smiled on the steps, all crinkled eyes and teeth.

Then Hyunjin was thinking of what he’d been doing at all those times, just watching it unfold, watching, watching and _wanting_. As Jeongyeon had dozed off in the classroom under the warmth of the afternoon sun, he’d lifted his hand as if to smooth her hair. But he had no right. Jeongyeon had never grinned at him with the warmth she’d reserved for Minho only.

The image on the screen of the camera was of Minho and Jeongyeon’s hands, about to touch and then to the ground, blurry and unfocused. Hyunjin could hear his own hurried footsteps as the camera swung out-of-frame by his side.

The next thing he knew, Hyunjin was squeezing Jeongyeon’s hand in his grip, away from Minho. Minho turned to Hyunjin in confusion, waiting for something…an explanation perhaps?

Hyunjin felt his hand grow sweaty around Jeongyeon’s as he stared resolutely at the ground. The whole set was so quiet you could hear a pin drop. He dared to look upwards, into the setting sun.

What the hell was he doing?

*

A month before the school festival, Chan stood before the class in front of the chalkboard, about to speak.

“Gooo! Class president!” called Jisung, earning a heavy glare from the teacher. He immediately paled and climbed off the table he’d been standing on.

“So,” said Chan trying to keep as much enthusiasm in his voice as possible. “As we all know, every class has to do something for the festival.”

A chorus of sighs could be heard and Chan felt a drop of sweat roll down his forehead.

“I-it can be anything!” he said a little too quickly. From the back row, Changbin gestured as if to say, ‘calm down’. Chan swallowed and tried again, wondering how he could get their unenthusiastic class to participate.

“We don’t have to run a stall if we don’t want to,” he suggested. A few people looked considerably more relaxed at this. “We can also make something, like artwork or put on a play!”

“Do we all have to be involved?” spoke up one of the girls. “Not all of us have time for things like this.”

Chan smiled nervously. “Well…we probably won’t need _everybody._ But I do need some people to help out depending on what we do.”

“Maid café!” hollered a guy and collective sniggers broke out across the room. The teacher facepalmed. All the girls turned to glare viciously at him.

“We could make decorations for the stalls…like paper chains,” said someone, but there was a groan.

“No, we can’t do that, class 3-B are already doing that.” Seungmin said, who was the vice president of the school.

“A play isn’t a bad idea if people are willing to be in it,” It went unspoken that it meant only some people had to do the work.

“What about a short film?” A deep voice rang out from amidst the high-pitched chatter.

Everyone turned to stare at Felix, the new baby-faced transfer student, who promptly turned red from the attention. A few of the girls gasped in shock, having never heard him speak before.

Chan nodded encouragingly for Felix to continue.

“What I mean is,” stammered out Felix. “If we make a film, we can do everything beforehand and then just show it on loop.” Approving murmurs broke out rapidly.

“We don’t even need many people on the day,” piped up Jisung. “Just someone to restart the film.”

“What does everyone think?” asked Chan, looking over the class. “People who don’t help with the film can just bring in popcorn or drinks on the day so everyone contributes something.”

Minho and Hyunjin both spoke simultaneously. “We don’t mind helping out with a film.”

Having heard the golden duo speak, there was a sudden shower of hands in favour of voting for a film.

With a relieved sigh, Chan scribbled down ‘short film’ onto the class form and ended the discussion.

“If you want to help out with the film, stay behind after last period and we’ll discuss!”

*

As the classroom emptied, Bang Chan stayed at his desk, praying for a decent number of participants. Felix had suggested the idea, so he was likely to be there. Hyunjin and Minho had publicly said they’d help so they should come as well. Would they motivate a hoard of fangirls to join too?

Apparently not, Chan thought dryly as a few minutes later only him, Felix, Hyunjin and Minho were in the classroom.

“Channie!” came a loud shout. Jisung sauntered into the classroom, crackling with chaotic energy, followed by a considerably more subdued Changbin.

“Did you really think we’d leave you to do this by yourself?” said Changbin, as he pulled out a chair and sat down. Then he waved at Felix, who let out a surprised squeak.

“Hey guys,” burst out Seungmin breathlessly, running into the classroom. He slammed a huge pile of papers onto his desk. “I just had to get the minutes from the school council meeting, sorry I’m late.”

Chan grinned ear to ear. They had seven people. Not the greatest line-up, but decent enough.

But Minho sighed. “Are there seriously no girls here even after we said we’d help?” Hyunjin burst out laughing and smacked Minho on the shoulder.

“I mean, I did hope it would encourage more people to help,” said Minho matter-of-factly. 

Felix let out a muffled snort. Even the ever-so-serious Seungmin couldn’t stop the corners of his lips quirking upwards.

*

Hyunjin left the meeting, feeling pretty satisfied. He mostly hung out with Minho anyway so he hadn’t really talked to his other classmates beyond general conversation. But everyone was pleasant enough, even Jisung, although he had the volume of three or four people packed into his body.

Unsurprisingly, being vice president and all, Seungmin had offered to help. Surprisingly though, he also volunteered to write script following their concept: romance. It wasn’t easy to imagine someone like Seungmin knew a lot about love. Changbin had been nominated as the director, Felix the assistant director. They would work with Seungmin to make the storyboard.

Jisung and Chan were handling all the effects, Jisung on lighting and Chan doing sound. Changbin even said he would make an OST for the film to play in the credits.

Hyunjin, having attended Photography club for the past two years, gladly offered to be the cameraman. At least he’d have something to show for the time he’d spent in that club.

“I’m sure you’ll do a great job, Jinnie!” said Minho, as they left the school together and started walking home.

“Stop…” groaned Hyunjin exaggeratedly, jokingly shoving his best friend. “I only took pictures before; I’ve never filmed anything.

Minho laughed or _cackled_ more like, showing the bunny teeth that girls always went crazy over but kept his balance.

Hyunjin knew he and Minho were popular. Girls found them good-looking and they were both athletic, in the dance department. It was cringy, but he knew people at school would call them the ‘golden duo’.

Sometimes, he felt more like a sidekick than part of a duo though. Even when they were children, Minho had always been a bit more outspoken and confident than him, because he didn’t care about the opinion of others. Wherever Minho lead, Hyunjin would follow.

“I’ve never seen you act before though,” teased Hyunjin as they turned the corner to his street. “Can you even keep a straight face as a male lead, with a girl and everything?”

“Speaking of girls,” frowned Minho, not riled up by Hyunjin’s remark or simply ignoring it. “Who should I ask to be my co-star?”

His tone of voice was overly casual, so Hyunjin didn’t think much of it.

“Oh yeah, I forgot no girls came to help,” He considered for a moment, watching the sun begin to blaze its way below the horizon. “As long as you don’t bring a total fangirl, I don’t really care.”

“Oh sure,” replied Minho, seeming surprised Hyunjin was so flippant about it. “I was thinking of asking Jeongyeon?”

“Who?”

They arrived outside Hyunjin's house and stopped walking. Honestly, he didn’t really differentiate the girls in his class much, especially the ones that admired him. They tended to blend into each other because they all treated him the same way, giggling and stuttering. He could chance a guess that the girl wasn’t part of that bunch.

“Aw, does Minho have a crush on someone?” he giggled, “Minho and Jeongyeon sitting in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g!”

“Shut up!” cried Minho, pushing Hyunjin in the direction of his house. Hyunjin grinned so hard his cheeks felt as if they were about to fall off. That reaction only confirmed it.

“My baby is growing up!” squawked Hyunjin, running to his doorstep to avoid Minho’s retaliation. “He’s becoming a man!”

“Fuck you!” yelled Minho, but still waving good-naturedly at him.

“Goodbye to you as well!” hollered back Hyunjin, as an old lady began berating Minho for his language.

Through tears of laughter, Hyunjin watched through his living room window as Minho bent into a ninety-degree bow to apologise.

*

“Jeongyeon, can we talk to you?” asked Hyunjin, barely suppressing his glee. The teachers and Chan had given the go-ahead for Minho to cast a female lead, how else could they do a romance?

Ever since Hyunjin found out about Minho’s crush, he'd done some information scouting on her. Jeongyeon was quiet in lessons but at break times she disappeared to hang out with her friends who were in the other class so Hyunjin didn’t really know her personality. One snippet of information he did manage to acquire was that she was on the girls’ hockey team.

This only scared him because it meant Jeongyeon could probably beat him up.

“Sure, what is it?” Jeongyeon had been in the process of leaving the classroom when Hyunjin and Minho had cornered her in the doorway. Proving herself to not be a fangirl, she didn’t even react.

“Would you play the female lead in the short film for the festival?” chorused Hyunjin and Minho in sync, with jazz hands.

“Can I think about it?” replied Jeongyeon, then she scrunched her face up.

Five seconds later she replied.

“No.”

“You said you’d think about it!” 

“I did,” she deadpanned dismissively. “I’m too busy.”

Minho’s eyes glimmered devilishly and that was when Hyunjin knew they were fucked. It was the look Minho wore whenever he was about to act crazy. And Minho was dangerous because he didn’t care.

He dived onto his knees and pressed his forehead straight onto the floor without hesitation.

“PLEASE!” he wailed, “ _PLEASE_!”

The entire class fell silent and looked at him, a few people even took out their phones and started filming. Hyunjin, who had more common sense than the wailing creature on the floor, went around and snatched them out of everyone’s hands, jumping up when girls tried to grab their phones back.

Once he’d deleted any videos of Minho begging on the floor, somehow Minho had gotten Jeongyeon to agree on playing the female lead.

“Did you threaten her life or something?” he asked Minho afterwards. _I wouldn’t put it past him._

“Hey now,” replied Minho, looking absolutely affronted, “Do you think I’m that desperate?”

Hyunjin rolled his eyes hard and went back to his desk.

Immediately, he pressed his face into the cool wood of his desk to hide his burning face. Now that he’d talked to Jeongyeon, he’d realised she was _cool._ Jeongyeon didn’t care that they were popular, to her they were just normal. The fact that she wasn’t falling over herself for them already set her apart.

And Jeongyeon was pretty in a plain way. Her eyes were almost completely black and devoid of much expression but that was somehow charming. She looked serious when she talked to them, but the exasperated smile she’d directed at Minho when he’d dived down to the floor had been extremely cute.

“Hey, are you OK?” came a voice from the darkness, interrupting his train of thought before it headed to-

Squinting blearily, Hyunjin lifted his head only to see Jeongin, the guy who sat next to him.

“I-I just saw you with your head buried in your arms,” explained Jeongin, waving his hands excessively. “Just checking you weren’t crying or something!” His voice was a bit higher than usual, as if he was a bit nervous.

“I’m good, just tired,” mumbled Hyunjin before he put his head back into his arms, relinquishing to the darkness.

*

Hyunjin walked to the football fields, a skip in his step. Minho went to football club on the days they weren’t working on the film. Usually on Friday Hyunjin just went home, but today he’d been practicing with the camera they’d borrowed and getting to grips with how to use it.

It would be a nice surprise for Minho, he thought happily as he approached the mass of blue jerseys on the field, huddled together. They hadn’t walked home together this week, Hyunjin being the considerate wingman and letting Minho walk Jeongyeon home after the film meetings.

Which, by the way, had been progressing at an admirable pace. Seungmin had finished the script whilst Changbin and Felix were almost done with the storyboard, so all that was left was to film the damn thing.

“Hyunjin!” Hyunjin glanced at the field, expecting to see Minho’s brown mop of hair but instead it was Chan calling his name. He squinted against the bright sunlight, eyes searching for Minho.

“Why are you here today?” said Chan curiously, jogging off the pitch, his cleats clattering against the tarmac. The rest of the team filed past, burnt out and sweaty.

“Isn’t Minho here?” said Hyunjin, taken aback. “I was going to walk home with him.”

Chan cocked his head confusedly.

“But Minho hasn’t been here all week?” he said slowly, “I was actually going to ask you why he hadn’t been coming. Is he busy with something?”

“O-oh,” faltered Hyunjin, equally confused. Minho had not told him he’d be skiving from football. So where was that bastard? “Well…”

“Just talk to him, yeah?” shrugged Chan, trying his best to diffuse the sudden awkwardness. “If he’s having problems, tell him to come to me. As captain, it’s my job to help.” He gave Hyunjin a solid whack on the back. It was probably meant to be a comforting gesture but his strength made Hyunjin splutter.

“Sure thing, Chan. Thanks!” grinned Hyunjin, turning to leave. Chan returned a cheery smile and headed to the changing rooms.

“I am going to _kill_ that bastard,” hissed Hyunjin through gritted teeth, as soon as Chan was out of earshot. He slung his rucksack higher on his shoulders and slowly headed back home, good mood from earlier completely evaporated. “Making me wait for nothing!”

As he was fiddling with his keys on his doorstep, Minho walked past, Jeongyeon in tow.

*

On Saturday, Hyunjin was woken up by loud rapping on his bedroom door.

“Whuzzit?” he mumbled, still half-asleep. The door swung open with a nasty bang as the door crashed against the wall, making him grimace. God, he hoped the paint hadn’t been chipped.

“Jinnie!” cried Minho and threw his full body weight onto Hyunjin, making him scream as Minho’s weight compressed all of his organs. “Wakey-wakey!”

“Get off me!” snapped Hyunjin, more acidly then he’d meant to be. Minho froze and looked at him silently.

“Dude, you OK?” he said, climbing off Hyunjin, concern creeping into his voice.

“It’s nothing,” said Hyunjin petulantly, pulling the covers over his head. It was too early for this.

“Hey, come on,” chided Minho, wriggling under the covers, “Tell Minho what’s wrong.”

Hyunjin tilted himself to face Minho in bed.

“Why haven’t you been at football club?” he demanded, “I went to find you yesterday and you weren’t there.” He hoped he didn’t sound as upset as he actually felt. It wasn’t a huge deal after all.

At this, Minho had the decency to look sheepish. He scratched his head.

“Ah, that…” he trailed off, “I’ve been practicing my lines with Jeongyeon.”

Hyunjin pushed Minho off the bed with a thump.

“Ow, fuck! I’m sorry, Jinnie,” said Minho. “I didn’t know it was going to happen either. I asked her earlier this week and we practiced once and when she asked me on Friday, I just thought go with the flow.”

He was sitting cross-legged on the carpet, fingers tracing patterns across the floor. It appeared he couldn’t bring himself to meet Hyunjin’s eyes.

“You could have at least messaged me,” said Hyunjin sulkily, “I’d be happy to play wingman for you, bro.”

Minho gave him his toothy laugh and it was like two puzzle pieces slotted into place again. The burden Hyunjin had been unknowingly carrying became feather light.

*

Hyunjin slumped onto his chair, holding his usual coffee milk. The classroom was half-empty but noisy, someone was throwing paper aeroplanes. Minho always called him out for not buying coffee in a can or carton, but Hyunjin was convinced the bagged version was vastly superior.

“You’re going to be my next buddy,” he muttered at Jeongin, who jumped in his seat, head jerking up from the notes he'd been writing.

“Why?” asked Jeongin, with that adorable wide grin. His smile had so much teeth in it too, thought Hyunjin. Just like Minho.

“Because when Minho gets together with Jeongyeon, I’m not being the third wheel,” he huffed.

“I thought we were buddies already,” said Jeongin carefully, the tips of his ears flaring bright red.

“That’s true enough,” agreed Hyunjin, holding his hand out. Jeongin beamed and high-fived him. Unwittingly, Hyunjin ran his mouth.

“Do you know that your smile is really cute?”

“Huh?” Jeongin gaped at him, gaze wavering. “T-thank you, I guess.”

Hyunjin grinned and went back to watching the clouds flowing across the blue sky.

Besides him, Jeongin covered his mouth to hide the smile threatening to take over his whole face.

*  
“Scene four, take one, aaaaction!” shouted Felix, clapping the slate more aggressively than necessary, making everyone wince as a grating sound filled the classroom.

The planning was finally over and the first day of shooting had begun. The story was going to be about how a dropped pencil led to a high school romance. It did sound tacky, but Seungmin had somehow managed to make it both funny and heart-warming. Was there anything he wasn’t good at?

Hyunjin pointed the camera at Jeongyeon and Minho.

Jeongyeon had been a great addition to the cast. The film crew were all pleased with Minho’s choice. Chan had been happy that she had a good work ethic and was punctual and responsible, while Seungmin and Changbin were happy that she was able to fit the concept of the film well. Even if she seemed reserved, her acting was pretty good. Jeongyeon had clearly worked hard practising her lines. He wondered what exactly Minho said to her to get her to agree.

Hyunjin found himself subconsciously focusing on Jeongyeon through the camera and mentally slapped himself. What the hell was he doing? He was going to be Minho’s wingman and help his bro get a girl.

But the more he looked at Jeongyeon, the prettier she seemed! A cute, small face but a straightforward manner and her hair smelled so nice too, of strawberries-

“Cut!” boomed Felix, gesturing at Hyunjin. Hyunjin nearly dropped the camera and realised he’d been filming Minho’s knees for the entire scene.

_Oh shit._

“Sorry, I zoned out,” he offered, hands up in surrender when Seungmin stalked up to him, fuming.

“Don’t waste our time again,” warned the vice president with a steely tone. Hyunjin shrunk backwards and pinched his cheeks hard. _Wake up, Hyunjin._

The next few scenes passed and at six, they wrapped things up. Hyunjin went over to help Jisung put the lights away as everyone tidied up.

“Don’t you think Jeongyeon and Minho have great chemistry?” Jisung said as they placed the screens in the storage cupboard, fumbling in the dark. “Are they an actual couple?”

“Of course not!” denied Hyunjin vehemently. “They barely knew each other till a few days ago.”

Jisung raised his eyebrows at his outburst.

“What I mean is,” tried Hyunjin, “I think they’re bonding well.”

Jisung slammed the cupboard door shut, locked it and wiggled his eyebrows connivingly.

“Whatever, dude.” Then he clapped Hyunjin on the back vigorously. “Just keep telling yourself that.”

After nodding sagely at him, Jisung dashed out the classroom and skidded the length of the corridor to launch himself onto Chan’s back, howling like a werewolf.

Hyunjin winced. What was with Chan and his friends touching people’s backs? He already had a purple handprint on his back from Chan and he was pretty sure Jisung had just added another layer of bruising.

When he collected his bag, the classroom was void of people and activity. Where was Minho? Hyunjin pouted and ran out the classroom. He wasn’t about to be left behind again.

He heard Minho’s gleeful tone from around the corner, right past the school gates and jumped out, grabbing Minho by the shoulders.

“Don’t forget about me!” wailed Hyunjin overdramatically.

“H-Hyunjin…” stuttered Minho, the opposite of smooth. Jeongyeon was next to him, taken aback. Hyunjin must have missed her from his angle; Minho had probably covered her.

“Oh, hi Jeongyeon,” greeted Hyunjin, feeling his heart start to pound, not just from running to catch up. “Are we all heading in the same direction?”

If there was irritation in Minho’s expression from being interrupted, Hyunjin missed it because he was too busy staring at Jeongyeon and trying to find something to talk about.

He’d gone through about fifty-seven different conversation starters, none of them helpful or remotely interesting when Jeongyeon spoke up.

“Minho, when are you going to show me your dance?” Dancing with Jeongyeon and Minho sounded really fun. He could probably teach Jeongyeon to dance too! It would be better if the three of them were together, the atmosphere would be livelier.

“We should all go dance together sometime!” exclaimed Hyunjin, oblivious to how Jeongyeon and Minho’s expressions both dropped. “I dance with Minho, so we can both show you!”

Minho nudged Hyunjin’s shoulder lightly as Jeongyeon looked side to side at the pedestrian crossing.

“Bro,” he whispered. “What happened to being my wingman?”

“Shit, sorry,” Hyunjin whispered back. He had totally forgotten about his promise. But something like that burden he’d felt on Friday was back, pressing down onto his chest. Being Minho’s wingman suddenly was the last thing he wanted to do.

He felt shoved to the side. Minho had already been blowing him off to walk home with Jeongyeon. What did it matter if Hyunjin joined them for one day? A stab of envy, no, irritation hit him but Hyunjin bit his lip and kept silent.

Maybe he wanted to be friends with Jeongyeon too? Surely he was permitted to _talk_ to her, at the very least. Jeongyeon was fun and interesting to be around and Hyunjin could do with branching out his social circle so it wasn’t always just Minho and him. If he was Jeongyeon’s friend, he wouldn’t even have to third wheel that hard in the event they actually got together.

 _Jeongin’s your friend,_ his mind supplied. Yeah but…Hyunjin’s joking around with Jeongin at lunch had been just that – a joke. Jeongin was nice and everything but Hyunjin didn’t feel the urge to know anymore about him.

By the time Hyunjin snapped out his train of thought, his feet had brought him on autopilot to his street, the first stop on him and Minho’s walk home. He realised belatedly that he’d been completely silent while Jeongyeon and Minho had chatted non-stop all the way.

“Well, this is my stop,” he said, forcing himself to make eye contact with Jeongyeon. She gave him a slight smile that felt like a casual shrug. This hurt for some reason. “I’ll see you guys tomorrow!”

Minho nodded and gestured at Jeongyeon to Hyunjin as if to say ‘I’ll walk her home’.

Per his usual routine, Hyunjin started to struggle with his faulty lock. However, unlike usual, he sneaked a peek at Minho and Jeongyeon as they started walking. Minho’s annoying bunny teeth gleamed as he laughed full force with Jeongyeon. She was talking animatedly, attention totally trained on Minho as she spoke. She looked about a hundred times more comfortable just with Minho compared to when the three of them had walked together.

Hyunjin shook his head as if it would help him clear out the intrusive thoughts rattling around his head and pushed the front door open, kicking off his shoes carelessly.

Why did he feel this way?

*

As he sat at his desk struggling with his homework, watching the shadow of his hand grow longer under his desk lamp, a eureka moment hit him.

“Oh my GOD!” shrieked Hyunjin and he flailed his arms, flinging his pen into the air. It smashed into his lightbulb, which broke and glass shards rained down. Hyunjin bare-footed, slipped on a piece of glass on his carpet and landed slammed his face straight into his homework, leaving a scarlet trail running down the page.

“Hyunjin!” cried his mum, throwing the door open to see what the fuss was about. She took in the sight of Hyunjin, blood trickling out his left nostril and broken glass all over the floor. “What happened?”

Hyunjin stared vacantly through his mum, mouth open, tongue dangling. He looked extremely dumbstruck.

“Clear up the glass before you get hurt!” chided his mum, waving the dustpan and brush at him. The words floated through one ear and left the other.

“I-I’m an idiot!” screamed Hyunjin manically, wringing his hands desperately, hopping around the room, somehow avoiding the broken glass. “Why. Do. I. Have. To. Be. So. STUPID!”

“You’re going to slice an artery in your foot if you don’t stop SCREAMING!” shouted his mum, throwing the dustpan across the room. It hit him square in the face and his other nostril started bleeding.

It did shake Hyunjin out of his trance though and he exhaled like a man with the weight of the world on his back before starting to sweep the glass.

No wonder he had been going crazy over the last week at every shooting, having to watch Minho and Jeongyeon act all couple-y together. He was _jealous_. Because he had a crush on Jeongyeon too.

“Oh god…” He plugged up both his nostrils with tissue to stop them bleeding all over the place but he realised he couldn’t breathe through his nose anymore. He mouth-breathed while frantically thinking. It only got worse. It was completely one-sided on his part and one hundred percent unrequited.

He knew Jeongyeon liked Minho, the difference in how she treated them was solid evidence. Well, he could do it! He wasn’t weak. For Minho, Hyunjin would grit his teeth and film the darn film and force himself to get over her. He hadn’t really liked many people before but the girls he had liked had always said yes to dating.

After a few weeks or maybe the odd month, they would break up anyway for petty reasons. Usually it was Hyunjin not treating them well enough or spending too much time with Minho. He’d always managed to get over them. He’d also turned down loads of confessions but the girls had always gotten over Hyunjin soon enough.

Now, what to do about the bloodstain on his homework? Hyunjin swore and pulled out another sheet of paper to copy his work onto.

*

About ten minutes from arriving at school, Hyunjin was strolling along with Minho as usual. His mind was at war with himself, two voices giving opposite opinions. One voice said he should be happy Jeongyeon wasn’t here, making him third wheel and suffer painfully. The other voice wished she was here because Hyunjin had a fat crush on her and wanted to see her.

Hyunjin knew (from experience) that slamming his head against the wall wouldn’t shut up the mess in his mind unless he fainted (not recommended) so he tried his best to ignore his internal squabbles.

“How was walking home with Jeongyeon yesterday?” asked Hyunjin instead. Minho’s expression looked like he’d been waiting for Hyunjin to say this.

“I thought you’d never ask,” said Minho playfully, “I think we talked well. We both like the same manga…and she has cats as well!” Hyunjin rolled his eyes, Minho never went a day without mentioning Soonie, Doongie and Dori.

“Are you sure it’s not just because your character likes her in the film?” blabbed Hyunjin’s traitorous mouth. _Shut up, shut up!_ “So, it’s just a by-product of the festival?”

Minho frowned at him. “What do you mean-”

“Minho!” Thankfully cutting off this train wreck of a conversation, Jeongyeon pushed herself between the two of them. “How are you today?”

 _Way to blank me,_ thought Hyunjin sullenly, looking away bitterly.

On the remainder of the journey to school, Hyunjin said a total of maybe two words, the last one being ‘Bye’ when Jeongyeon sat down at her seat in class.

When Hyunjin hung his blazer over his own chair, Jeongin was watching Jeongyeon curiously. He looked as if he wanted to comment on how Minho was still there talking to her, but he remained silent until bell rang and the teacher came in.

Hyunjin was utterly oblivious to it all, it had become much more of a struggle to focus in lessons now he was aware of his feelings. He had to repeatedly drag his gaze away from the back of Jeongyeon’s head; it was as if there was a magnet attached to her head.

Jeongin wrote his notes, glancing sideways at Hyunjin every now and again. Understanding flickered in his eyes and he pursed his lips before continuing with his notes.

*

This was his chance! Jeongyeon had a few solo scenes, therefore being the camera man, Hyunjin would be spending lunch break alone with her.

Hang on, he couldn’t make a move, that was absolutely against the bro code. God, he was a fool. It was like being in an art gallery, he could look but not touch. Hyunjin sighed at his analogy and fiddled at his camera as Jeongyeon sat down at the desk by the window in the empty classroom they’d chosen to shoot in.

“Hi,” greeted Jeongyeon shortly and she immediately pulled out her script and flicked through to her lines. While she read, Hyunjin took his time to admire her face close-up, trying to memorise every detail because this was his only chance.

He was procrastinating the whole ‘getting over Jeongyeon’ thing greatly, but Hyunjin figured he’d let his passion burn itself out. A flame couldn’t survive without oxygen and eventually Jeongyeon would stop hanging out with them. Did he just call Jeongyeon his oxygen? A shudder ran through his body at his cheesiness.

They got the scenes done and headed back to their own classroom and when Minho went straight over to Jeongyeon, Hyunjin’s lip curled in distaste.

“Hyunjin, did you do the maths homework?” asked Jeongin, brandishing his own homework, full of neat working out.

Hyunjin’s jaw dropped. To be honest, last night he had just filled a notebook with Jeongyeon’s name and little hearts.

“No, I completely forgot,” he despaired, frantically digging his bag for paper. How much could he get done now? The clock showed twenty minutes left of break…maybe half?

“Um…do you just want to copy mine?” suggested Jeongin, placing his homework done in front of Hyunjin. “I don’t mind.”

“Oh my god, Innie, thank you so much!” gabbled Hyunjin, scribbling line after line down. “I love you!”

Jeongin choked on air and tripped on nothing, leg hitting a sending the chair hurtling backwards.

“It’s a not a big deal! Honestly!” Jeongin scurried off to set the chair upright again.

Having finished his homework with time to spare, Hyunjin decided to head to Computer Room 9 to have a look at the footage he shot and give it a quality check. Changbin had ridiculously high standards for an amateur high school production. 

He pushed the door open, only to see Minho and Jeongyeon sitting next to each other and his elation from Jeongin’s help vanished. This particular door made no sound as it opened so no one noticed him as he pushed the door open and stepped inside. The footage Hyunjin had just shot was already playing on some ancient recorder that had been dug out of the cupboard.

The love in the air was nauseatingly evident.

Hyunjin almost tsked out loud, they could have easily transferred that to a PC. Clearing his throat slightly, he walked into the room and sat down in the chair next to Jeongyeon. Minho and Jeongyeon turned their heads simultaneously to see the disturbance and Jeongyeon let out a forced smile.

Hyunjin put on a cheery front, pretending to be clueless to the current atmosphere in the room.

“I was just going to review the footage too!” He chirped. “Guess you beat me to it!”

That was the last straw for Hyunjin’s lovesickness.

*

It was boiling jealousy that caused Hyunjin to act out of impulse. As students filed out of the classroom, heading home, Hyunjin was being subjected to emotional torture as he waited for everyone to arrive for the filming session. _Ugh,_ he would have to see Minho making cow eyes at Jeongyeon and it was just too much.

Jeongin was carefully smoothing his notes out and placing them into his folder when Hyunjin slammed both hands onto his desk. Jumping a mile in the air with fright, Jeongin ripped the sheet he was holding in half. He stared woefully at the tattered remains in his hands.

“Is there something I can help you with, Hyunjin?” said Jeongin, eyes wide and bewildered.

 _So cute,_ cooed Hyunjin’s brain. _Just like a baby chick._

“Actually yes, I have a really big favour to ask!” Hyunjin blinked in surprise at himself. _He_ didn’t even know what the favour was, some unknown force had taken control of his body.

He placed his hands over Jeongin’s, clasping them tightly. “Will you join the cast for short film?”

Jeongin looked so aghast that Hyunjin’s protective instincts almost took over. Jeongin must be protected at all costs.

“S-sure?” stammered Jeongin, ripping his hands out of Hyunjin’s grip. Jeongin wiped his own sweaty palms on his trousers and wondered what on earth was happening.

*

“You did what now?” scowled Seungmin, having seized Hyunjin and taken them outside the classroom. “You can’t just add things to the script without telling me, the- _ahem_ -scriptwriter!”

“I-I think would really help bring a different angle to the current character dynamics!” improvised Hyunjin, panicked. “Right now, we just have a typical romance which is good and all but we could make it more comedic and varied by having another cast member! Two people is a bit few anyway!”

Seungmin’s glare became dangerously deadly. Hyunjin braved on hurriedly before he passed out in fear.

“What I was thinking was Jeongin can be a friend of Jeongyeon’s who’s trying to set them up but it keeps going wrong! They already have loads of near misses, it can’t be that hard to add to the script!” Hyunjin held his breath and prayed, hardly daring to look at Seungmin. Seungmin narrowed his eyes and Hyunjin shrank backwards in terror.

It looked like the storm had passed when Seungmin hummed thoughtfully. “If Jeongin is a good actor, I don’t mind putting that in. Some of your points were surprisingly valid. I’ll ask Changbin what he thinks.”

Hyunjin mentally patted himself on the back. At least his brain functioned when it counted. He went over to Jeongin, who was sitting in the corner awkwardly.

“I have great news!” he announced grandly. “Seungmin said he’ll add you to the script as another character.” Seungmin hadn’t actually said that, but Hyunjin’s optimism refused to let him believe otherwise.

Yippee! Now he wouldn’t be forced to watch just Minho and Jeongyeon exchanging sweet nothings on and off camera as he had to spend most of his time with the production members.

“I haven’t really acted before though,” said Jeongin anxiously. “Are you sure I’m the right person to ask?”

Hyunjin placed both hands on Jeongin’s’ shoulders and looked intently into his eyes.

“You’re going to be great. The best actor ever.” If you said something enough, eventually you’d start believing it. Or at least that was Hyunjin’s motto.

*

Jeongin proved to be a great addition to the film team, just like Jeongyeon. Hyunjin and Minho seemed to have a good eye for casting. Maybe a future career, thought Hyunjin. He was practically a casting director already.

Once Jeongin had gotten to know everyone better, he stopped being so skittish and Hyunjin got to know him better. Rather than the geeky but friendly Jeongin Hyunjin sat with, Jeongin became the Jeongin who was clumsy and awkward but had a bright smile that made forgiving him easy. As well as that, Jeongin had a tendency to apologise profusely because he was always knocking something over. It always made Hyunjin giggle every time it happened.

Clang! Jeongin had just tripped over the lights Jisung had put out and multiple sorrys were already flooding out.

Their class teacher had allowed them to film during a silent study period so the crew were outside, setting up for a dramatic scene where Minho would hold hands with Jeongyeon and run. Hyunjin was none too thrilled with the circumstances, but at least Jeongin would be running behind them.

He was also feeling increasingly miffed towards Minho. This was a given, seeing as they were rivals in love. However, Minho was also his best friend. Best friends weren’t meant to abandon the other at the drop of a hat for a girl! Bros before hoes, come on!

From the football club incident to walking home after school, Minho seemed to be blowing him off for Jeongyeon every time. Now Jeongyeon walked with them in the mornings too. All the little routines that had made life so comfortable were all gone. Hyunjin really didn’t have many friends besides Minho and now he was obviously no longer Minho’s priority. Hyunjin was lonely, god damn it. 

He’d been spending so much time with Jeongin lately, unable to bear Minho’s presence lately because Jeongyeon would always be there too. Bleh.

They’d had an extra session for reading lines with Jeongin’s newly added character on the benches and Jeongin had seemed extra awkward with Jeongyeon. He’d talked to everyone else normally but whenever Jeongyeon went within a five-metre radius, Jeongin relocated. Hyunjin hoped he didn’t have a crush on her as well. That would make things complicated.

*

Jeongin pretended to read the lines on the script that he had long since memorised as he sneaked subtle glances at Hyunjin, who for the past hour had either been using his camera or sending longing gazes at Jeongyeon, who had been glued to Minho’s side.

It was almost funny if it wasn’t so sad. Two best friends falling for the same girl and Jeongin, a total outsider getting a dumb crush on Hyunjin. On the first day of high school, Jeongin saw Hyunjin with Minho and had known instantly they would be popular. Because they were both…really hot.

Consequently, Jeongin’s sexual awakening happened in his first year of high school, when he’d eavesdropped on a girl confessing to Hyunjin. Usually they got shot down, but Hyunjin had actually agreed to a date. All Jeongin could think about for the next few days was dating Hyunjin, kissing Hyunjin, confessing to Hyunjin, Hwang Hyunjin, Hwang, and Hyunjin. He even had a confession letter hidden under his mattress at home, not that he’d dare to let it leave the house.

Jeongin just pined after Hyunjin for two years instead. Now it was the last year of high school and his hopeless crush was still going nowhere. That is, until Hyunjin had started talking to him out of the blue. He seemed to actually be making friends with Hyunjin – Hyunjin had even invited (or begged) him to help with the film.

Jeongin wasn’t quite as starstruck as he used to be and could face reality, Hyunjin was only hanging out with him because Minho was opting to spend more time with Jeongyeon. Jeongin was just an easy replacement for that gap. It was foolish to think Hyunjin was interested at all, even if Hyunjin called him things like ‘cute’. Jeongin knew Hyunjin as well as an outsider could, he had been watching him for over two years. Hyunjin was affectionate with everyone and free with skinship.

He turned the script to the confession scene.

_[Setting: Rooftop with evening sunset]_

_Minho: [walks toward Jeongyeon and taking her hand] I know we only met because of a pencil that rolled under your seat. But after everything that’s happened…you can’t deny it can you?_

_Jeongyeon (confused): Deny what? What do you mean? What are you saying…?_

_Minho: I-I’ve realised my feelings. But have you realised your own?_

_[Jeongyeon’s eyes widen and Minho leans in]_

_-Cut-_

_[They pull away breathlessly]_

_Minho: From when our hands touched, I knew I liked you-_

Jeongin sighed wistfully and mouthed Minho’s lines, imagining himself telling Hyunjin. Except this was reality and they wouldn’t watch the sunset together, instead Hyunjin would probably punch him in the face. No, Hyunjin was too nice to do that. He’d let Jeongin down gently and tell him to stay away. Or stay friends with him out of pity.

“Scene eight, take eight!” called Felix, clapping the board so harshly he almost broke it. Jeongin shook himself out of his reverie and prepared to run down the path, following Minho and Jeongyeon.

*

Hyunjin felt his mood worsen as he ran side by side with the cast, filming the running scene. It was the eighth take because Felix wanted several different angles but it still hurt exactly the same way every take.

An immeasurably strong urge to delete the footage of his camera or throw it onto the ground till the glass screen cracked beyond repair rose up within him, but he managed to hold himself back.

When Seungmin and Felix were finally satisfied and Jisung stopped fussing about the lighting, it was already five minutes into the lunch break.

There were still things to discuss about the film, which was turning into a bigger project than anyone of them had anticipated, so everyone agreed easily enough to eating together in the editing room.

Of course, Minho agreed. Any chance to be with Jeongyeon.

Hyunjin travelled to the sole vending machine that contained his usual bag of coffee milk. Wouldn’t it be nice of him if he got one for Jeongyeon? The small devil in his heart laughed delightedly at this rebellious thought. _It’s not like I’m making a move,_ mused Hyunjin. He was just being friendly to someone who had joined their crew.

Unfortunately, Minho seemed to have been thinking along the same lines as him because when Hyunjin re-joined Minho after their vending machine journey, he had two cartons of strawberry milk in his hands.

They exchanged a sideways glance and walked to the editing room without further commentary.

*

Jeongin watched the entire fiasco unfold before his eyes.

Jeongyeon graciously accepted both drinks with a mildly constipated expression and looked back and forth, first at Minho, then Hyunjin. She wasn’t smiling anymore, but looked rather troubled as she noticed Hyunjin’s expression.

Hyunjin and Minho were both staring raptly at her, watching intently to see which drink she would sip from first. Jeongin clutched his jumbo jar of jellybeans and swallowed hard. He hadn’t realised that it would be so much more painful now he was Hyunjin’s friend.

Several minutes passed, the awkward silence only being filled by the discussion of Chan, Changbin and Jisung with occasional input from the others, while Hyunjin and Minho sipped at their drinks. Jeongyeon hadn’t touched hers, to Jeongin’s great relief. Things would have gotten out of hand if she had.

Unable to bear the tension anymore, Jeongin plucked the forgotten coffee milk out of Hyunjin’s hand, and took a sip.

Hyunjin whipped around in confusion while Jeongin tried to hold back a smirk. Imagine if Hyunjin bought him a drink to woo him. Funny joke, that was. He closed his eyes and took another sip, well, he could pretend.

“Hey!” That was until Hyunjin snatched the milk out of Jeongin’s hand. “Don’t take my milk!” He took a long gulp and all Jeongin could think was _indirect kiss._ He resisted the massive urge to touch his lips and end up looking rather creepy.

But the tension had successfully been broken. Hyunjin shuffled closer on the sofa to Jeongin to talk and Minho and Jeongyeon started their own conversation.

“Thanks, Jeongin,” said Hyunjin in a low voice, eye full of warmth. Jeongin could only assume he was grateful at Jeongin for diffusing the tension.

“Do you want a jellybean?” Jeongin said, before he did something stupid like blurt an abrupt confession. He unscrewed his jar and dropped a handful into Hyunjin’s lap. “Guys! I have jellybeans! Come here if you want some!”

In moments like this, he could almost pretend there was hope of something.

*

Jeongin really, really wanted to go home after they finished the fight scene. He’d skidded across the ground on a stray tennis ball in the basketball courts during filming and wanted to put a plaster on the grazes on his knees and elbows (which were hidden beneath his uniform). He was reluctant to ask because he didn’t want to halt the production just for a few scrapes.

But then Chan had suggested a round of football before calling it a day, because the pitch was empty. Jeongin wanted to go home, he really wanted to go home, but Hyunjin seemed enthusiastic to play football, especially as Jeongyeon said she would sit and watch.

So here he was.

“Jeongin, are you playing?” asked Hyunjin. Jeongin shook his head immediately.

“I’m tired, I’ll watch too,” He replied and situated himself by the goalposts. The irony struck him, both him and Jeongyeon were watching their crushes play. Except no one was competing to impress him.

What started as a game of 3v4 soon transitioned to a penalty shootout when Changbin pointed out that Hyunjin was hard to score against because of his fast reflexes.

When it was Minho’s go to try and score against Hyunjin, Jeongin watched Jeongyeon sit a little straighter and lean forward. Jeongin wanted to cheer for Hyunjin from by the goalposts but kept his mouth zipped. He nervously scratched at the peeling white paint on the goalposts instead, watching the white flakes flutter to the ground.

No one else except Chan, who was the football team captain had managed to score against Hyunjin thus far. So as another member of the football team, Minho had his pride on the line. It would fine for Hyunjin to lose honestly, because he wasn’t even in football club.

But Jeongin understood it meant more than that to Hyunjin because Jeongin was pretty sure he knew unrequited love better than Hyunjin. 

As Minho ran, one step, two steps to the ball, Jeongin hoped for Hyunjin’s sake he could win. If Hyunjin was happy, so was Jeongin.

Minho’s foot made contact with a smack and Hyunjin dived, but he missed the timing and the ball was already slamming into the back of the net.

Minho shrugged as if to say ‘too bad’ to Hyunjin and turned back to the others who were cheering and holding hands out for a high-five. Jeongin watched Chan clap Minho on the back and Minho cry out in pain.

Felix began initiating a pile-up, starting with Felix crushing Chan. Drawn in by Chan’s shrieking, the others joined in.

In Hyunjin’s desperation to save the ball, he’d fallen hard and was still lying on the ground, defeat etched across his face.

Jeongin disregarded the pile-up and offered Hyunjin a hand. Him and Hyunjin both looked over at Jeongyeon who was watching the pile-up. Hyunjin noticed the direction of Jeongin’s gaze and gave a stiff chuckle.

“Was it really that obvious?” _Maybe only to me and Jeongyeon._

“You’re always looking at her,” replied Jeongin, casually slinging an arm around Hyunjin’s shoulder. Hyunjin thankfully did not shrug it off. “Even when you’re not filming.”

“You know, Jeongin, you’re more than my buddy now,” Hyunjin kicked at the ground with his trainers and sent chunks of earth flying. The football team wouldn’t be pleased to see that. “You’re a good friend. You’re observant.”

“Thanks,” said Jeongin. It appeared he had been upgraded. “But it wasn’t a difficult thing to see.”

“If it’s not difficult, do you think Minho knows?” said Hyunjin in alarm. The football game had restarted without them; Hyunjin wasn’t playing anymore.

Jeongin wanted the moment to last forever, just him and Hyunjin by the goalposts where no one could hear what they were saying. His hand on Hyunjin’s shoulder and the evening breeze whipping through their hair.

“I think he’s been a little too preoccupied to notice your problems,” said Jeongin dryly, then realised what he had said. “Oh shit! I didn’t mean it that way.”

Hyunjin burst out laughing. In fact, he laughed so hard that he was pounding the ground on all fours.

“I think that’s the first time I’ve heard you swear like that, Innie.” _And that’s the first time you’ve called me Innie._ Jeongin tried to keep his panic under control. 

“I know what you mean though. I feel like I’m losing Minho to Jeongyeon. I also want Jeongyeon, but I can’t do that to Minho.” The words felt like spears digging through Jeongin's skin, skewering nerve and muscle.

“It’s such a relief to be able to tell someone,” continued Hyunjin, “I’m always with Minho so I don’t have someone else I trust to tell these types of secrets.”

“You trust me?” asked Jeongin incredulously. Hyunjin beamed, eyes becoming crescents.

“I do now!” Jeongin’s heart was hammering so hard he could feel it in his ears. Before he could say anything in reply, Hyunjin had ran off towards Jeongyeon on the steps.

Unbelievable. It was unbelievable how Hyunjin could fill Jeongin’s heart with so much light then stomp it to pieces again. His grazes throbbed. No longer having a reason to stay, Jeongin waved goodbye to no one in particular and went back home.

*

On the steps, Hyunjin ran up to where Jeongyeon was sitting.

“Aren’t you bored watching?” asked Hyunjin casually enough. She shrugged nonchalantly.

“I like watching sports, I do hockey.” It made Hyunjin seem slightly patronising. “You’re quite good at football for someone not on the team though.”

“I-I didn’t mean something like girls can’t enjoy sports or something earlier-” exclaimed Hyunjin, tomato-faced.

“It’s all right,” said Jeongyeon. “Will you be sad when the short film is finished?”

“Well, not really…” Hyunjin contemplated. He could go home earlier and actually get his homework done and he wouldn’t have to see Jeongyeon anymore unless…unless Minho kept hanging out with her. Fuck, he couldn’t get rid of Jeongyeon. It seemed like Hyunjin had reached friend status with her too. Would God just not let him get over it in peace?

Five minutes later, they were skimming through the footage on the camera and Hyunjin was showing Jeongyeon what some of the different buttons meant when Minho ran over and joined them. He was breathless from football and forehead shining with sweat but Jeongyeon moved to make space for him.

“Are you hurt from earlier?” asked Minho, concern painted on his face. Hyunjin just shook his head slightly and watched the field coolly, trying to hide his annoyance. He doubted that the reason Minho came over was to check on him. Surely it was just to stop any competition for Jeongyeon. 

_“I can’t do that to Minho…”_

That was what he had told Jeongin earlier – speaking of that, where was he? Hyunjin peered round the football pitch only to see that was completely deserted aside from the circle the others had formed. Jeongin was nowhere to be seen. He felt a little bad that he had no clue when Jeongin had left but this feeling was quickly replaced by dismay at the sight of Minho discussing the footage with Jeongyeon.

He was an utter fool for feeling and acting like this.

*

Hyunjin felt his hand grow sweaty around Jeongyeon’s as he stared resolutely at the ground. The whole set was so quiet, you could hear a pin drop. He dared to look upwards, into the setting sun.

What was he doing?

After the adrenaline rush cleared slightly, Hyunjin found himself viewing the rooftop from above, as if his soul had just floated out of his body. He could see his own pained expression, Minho’s confusion, Jeongyeon’s shock all frozen in time like a painting.

Written all over Jisung’s face was ‘Oh shit bro’ and the other crew members were either shocked or confused. Jeongin was staring with such intensity at Hyunjin that he could feel it and he could see pity? Or was it sorrow?

The mortification hit him and grounded him and Hyunjin belatedly regretted his actions, but what could he do now?

He dropped Jeongyeon’s hand like a hot coal and threw open the door that lead to the rooftop and sprinted down the stairs, skipping three at a time.

Two people dashed after him.

*

At long last, it was the final scene of the short film then it would all be over. No more spending half his evenings with Hyunjin, walking home together with him to stop Hyunjin feeling like a third wheel between Jeongyeon and Minho, even if Jeongin had to spend an extra half hour doubling back home. Perhaps they could stay friends, but who knew? As each scene drew closer to the ending, Jeongin tried harder to cherish each moment it was just him talking to Hyunjin.

Jeongin grimly watched Hyunjin over the top of his script as he pined over Jeongyeon, huddled with Minho.

_I’d accept you in a heartbeat…_

Jeongin wasn’t deluded enough to ignore reality so he stood over to the side as Felix went to clap the slate. Hyunjin rolled the camera and Minho reached for Jeongyeon- then Hyunjin did something completely unexpected.

There was so much anguish in Hyunjin’s eyes that Jeongin could barely stand it. He wanted to rush over and comfort him, reassure him that it wasn’t worth it. That she wasn’t worth it.

As soon as Hyunjin’s footfalls started echoing on the stairs, Jeongin was instinctively running after him, unable to stop his body moving automatically. As Jeongin left the stairwell, he saw Hyunjin slamming the door of an empty classroom open at the end of the corridor.

Jeongin keeled over and panted to catch his breath as cold air rushed past him. He jerked his head upwards to see the back of Minho’s head whizz past him to the classroom.

That was surely out of his territory. It had been a brewing storm from the moment Hyunjin started liking Jeongyeon and now the rain was falling, the wind whipping and lightning striking.

Jeongin stopped short of the classroom, hidden by the open door. He could just about peer through the glass partition on the door and see Minho standing in front of Hyunjin, who was slumped against the wall, head in his hands. Hyunjin’s breathing was shallow and ragged. He heard Minho’s footsteps stop.

“Why didn’t you say anything if you liked Jeongyeon?” demanded Minho, “Why would you pretend and keep this to yourself if it would just hurt you?” His voice was strained and tight, befuddled and upset.

“Minho-” Hyunjin began pleadingly but stopped. Jeongin watched his chest rise and fall a few times before. “How could I have told you? There’s nothing I can do about it. I don’t want to fight with you. I guess that-that I just couldn’t take it anymore.”

“You idiot!” snapped Minho in frustration. “That’s exactly why you don’t keep this to yourself! Because it just festers and makes you do something stupid like this! If you talked to me earlier at least you wouldn’t have carried this burden.”

When Hyunjin replied, his tone was much colder than it had been. “What is there to talk about? I don’t want to declare myself as your rival for love. Nothing would have changed even if I told you. What – would you cut off all connections with Jeongyeon? Would you tell me to chase after her? Someone has to make a sacrifice.” There was a biting sarcasm appearing in his voice that made Minho’s shoulders stiffen.

Minho hesitated before speaking, voice raised. “Fine! I’m not a relationship expert but I’m sure we could’ve avoided something like this where we’re all embarrassed! Why did you have to do that during filming in front of everyone and make a big mess? Why would you complicate our friendship over a girl?”

“I could ask you the same thing,” retorted Hyunjin, anger creeping into his features. He pushed himself off the floor and stood up. “You’ve been blowing me off ever since you met Jeongyeon. When was the last time we have a proper conversation? You lied about football club first-”

Minho’s jaw dropped and he gasped incredulously. “You _told_ me to walk home with her! You acted as a wingman for me and never said anything! If you thought I was letting Jeongyeon get in the way, then fucking tell me! I would have made an effort to spend more time with you! Your excuses are just that – shitty excuses! Every time Jeongyeon was with us you just glued yourself to Jeongin and blanked me-”

“I don’t want to argue with you! Especially not over a girl!” shouted Hyunjin. “I didn’t _ask_ to get feelings on your goddamn crush! She doesn’t like me; she fucking likes you so what else could I do beside try and get over it! How could I tell you shit! You never take me seriously!” Minho looked like Hyunjin had just slapped him in the face. Hyunjin froze too, slowly raising a hand to his mouth as if he couldn’t believe what he had just said.

Jeongin winced, Hyunjin had definitely just crossed a line.

Minho spoke again. It was quiet but each word rang clearly in the empty classroom like a bell. 

“Is that so…is that what you think?” said Minho and he laughed in disbelief then shook his head. “Well, unlike you, at least I’m not a self-absorbed idiot who sabotages the production.”

 _Wham_.

Hyunjin stepped closer till he was nose-to-nose with Minho and pushed with so much force that Minho’s back hit the chalkboard, causing a huge crashing noise and a rattle as the chalk pieces fell to the ground. In the process of getting up, Minho stood on one of the broken chalk pieces, crushing it to dust.

“Hyunjin, you crazy bastard!” he hissed, shifting weight onto his back foot and swinging his fist forward. He caught Hyunjin hard in the face. Hyunjin doubled over and that was when Jeongin shut his eyes, unable to watch further.

He heard the exchange of blows and grunts of pain and then heavy thudding as Minho stalked straight out the room, not even seeing Jeongin cowering beside the door.

As Minho’s footsteps faded, there was silence. It seemed the worst of the storm had just passed. But after every storm, there was lasting damage.

There was a tiny sniffle, a choked sob, then the only sound in vicinity was Hyunjin crying his heart out.

*

Hyunjin felt a warm hand gently lay itself on his shoulder. He looked up through cloudy vision to see Jeongin kneeling front of him, gnawing his lip.

“I followed you but Minho got here before me and I’m so sorry, I couldn’t interfere…” Hyunjin tried to blink back his tears but they welled up and leaked out of the corner of his eyes. Hyunjin however, was not an ugly crier. His eyes sparkled with tears and his lips were pinker than ever. Jeongin resolved to slap himself later for thinking that.

“It’s not your fault, Innie,” he said thickly. “It’s mine. Minho was right, I _am_ a self-absorbed idiot.”

“Don’t say that!” Jeongin said it so sharply Hyunjin jolted backwards. “You were trying to help Minho and you had good intentions. Maybe what you did wasn’t the wisest, but you were trying your best.”

Through the windows, the pink sunset stained the classroom red, casting shadows across Hyunjin as he faced Jeongin, tear tracks drying on his cheeks.

“You’re so good to me,” he mumbled, wiping clumsily at his eyes. “You’re too good to me.”

Affection sparked and ignited in Jeongin’s chest and he tentatively held his arms out for a hug. Hyunjin leaned in and squeezed Jeongin tightly to his chest. Jeongin could only describe it as standing next to roaring hot fire when there was a storm outside.

They stayed like that for who knows how long. Jeongin watched the sky darken with each passing minute. He was afraid Hyunjin could feel how fast his heart was beating. His mouth was dryer than the Sahara.

The left side of his shirt was starting to feel warm and damp, hopefully from Hyunjin’s tears rather than his runny nose.

“Hyunjin,” began Jeongin, disentangling them reluctantly. “We should go home now.”

Hyunjin murmured an affirmative and scrubbed at his eyes hard with the heel of his palms then he winced in pain, screwing his face up.

A blueish bruise was starting to form over his left eye. His bottom lip which had been busted by Minho wasn’t bleeding anymore, but Jeongin could tell it would form a thick scab later.

“I can’t let my parents see me with this-” Hyunjin gestured to his face. “They’re going to go nuts. Shit, what can I do?”

Words left Jeongin’s mouth before he had fully thought them through. “Why don’t you just stay over at my house for tonight?” It could work…as long as Jeongin’s father agreed. Hyunjin had no one else to take refuge with.

Hyunjin shifted uncomfortably besides him but didn’t press the subject further. The invitation hung in the air over them, the atmosphere somehow still ambient. They walked back down the long corridor to the stairs and Jeongin could hear the echoes of Minho’s footsteps growing more distant replaying in his mind. It seemed him and Hyunjin were the only people in this school building yet it felt like him and Hyunjin were the only people in the world. The feeling was post-apocalyptic yet strangely tranquil. Jeongin felt infinite, he didn’t know how else to describe it.

As he pushed the door to the roof open, it was totally bare of filming equipment. The others had cleaned up after the fight and the only thing left was Hyunjin’s script, smack bang in the middle of the floor and their bags tucked neatly into a corner.

“Thank god Minho didn’t take my stuff home for me,” muttered Hyunjin. He seemed to have developed a slight lisp because of his lip. It was almost endearing, save for the fact it was borne of violence. “Not that he has any reason to help me.”

Jeongin nodded, unsure of what to reply. He picked up his bag, wondering about whether Hyunjin left his question unanswered purposely or if he was still considering. They walked shoulder to shoulder down the stairs but even as they emerged from the building and walked past the reception to the gates, Hyunjin had not increased the gap between them. Jeongin could still feel Hyunjin’s shoulder nudging him every now and then and made his stomach tighten every time.

_He’s just had a huge fight with his best friend, he’d probably latch onto anyone who knows the situation._

_But Hyunjin only told me about it_ , Jeongin argued. He couldn’t be totally sure, but it seemed unlikely anyone else knew.

“Hey, about what you said earlier,” Hyunjin looked sideways bashfully, fidgeting with his fingers. Jeongin instantly was on full alert. “Would it really be okay if I came over? I-I don’t want to intrude on your family on anything…”

“It’s fine!” chirped Jeongin then he realised his mood wasn’t appropriate for current events. “Let me just ask my dad!”

His father, in fact, was happy Jeongin had a friend he was close enough to invite over. Jeongin huffed at the assumption that he had no friends.

“He said it’s fine,” Jeongin said as he put his phone back in his pocket, “We can have fun!”

“Sorry, I’m probably acting too happy right now…”

Hyunjin shook his head and gave him a real smile. “No, it’s good, I should try and cheer up too.” His lip split again as he grinned widely and blood started beading.

Jeongin fished a packet of tissues out and handed them to Hyunjin. “I can get you all fixed up at home,”

Hyunjin nodded, not daring to speak again, tissue pressed to his lips. There was silence for the rest of the walk but it was comfortable, occasionally broken by Jeongin humming old trot songs, much to Hyunjin’s amusement.

*

Hyunjin felt as if had aged about ten years in the past two hours. Sure, he’d fought with Minho, but never to this extent. He couldn’t even blame Minho as Hyunjin had provoked him. Thank the gods for Jeongin.

He had meant what he said earlier. He didn’t deserve Jeongin; Jeongin was too nice to him. None of the other film members had come to check on him after, maybe whatever Minho told them made them all side with his best friend. Or ex-best friend, Hyunjin grimly thought. That was the problem with words, you couldn’t take them back. Once you said them and sent those soundwaves vibrating through the air, it was final.

On the way to Jeongin’s house, Hyunjin phoned his mum to tell her he was staying with a friend to study for the English test. It was the weekend tomorrow luckily so he wouldn’t have to face Minho till Monday.

Although he should be the one to apologise first for attacking Minho directly. God, he didn’t even mean half the things he said. Then again, Minho had made pretty inflammatory comments so he wasn’t in the clear either. Also, Hyunjin’s injuries had not appeared spontaneously. 

The weekend would be best for letting them both cool off so they could have a rational discussion on Monday and make up at school.

Vaguely, Hyunjin noticed that Jeongin’s house was quite far from Hyunjin’s, it went to the opposite side of town. Yet every time he’d walked with Jeongin, Jeongin had always walked with him to Hyunjin’s house, saying his house wasn’t far off.

If Hyunjin was thinking straight that day, he might have thought about this peculiar fact a bit harder but given the situation, he didn’t register it till Jeongin was punching in the code to a set of slightly shabby apartments.

“We’re on the third floor,” said Jeongin, beckoning him in. He turned to Hyunjin with a worried expression. “What are you going to do about all your stuff! You can borrow my clothes, but I’m a bit shorter so…”

“Don’t worry, Innie,” He’d wear the same clothes again if necessary. He was already more than grateful for Jeongin letting him into his home and keeping Hyunjin company. If Hyunjin was alone, he probably would have spent the night staring at his bedroom wall and crying.

Jeongin’s apartment was medium-sized with two bedrooms – “One for my dad and me,” explained Jeongin, matter-of-factly. “My parents are divorced.” Hyunjin couldn’t help but notice that the furniture looked a little worse for wear compared to his own pristine home.

“I know it’s not much,” said Jeongin, looking embarrassed.

“Hey, don’t say that,” admonished Hyunjin, cuffing Jeongin’s shoulder lightly. “Your place is wonderful.” Something about how Jeongin’s eyes lit up made Hyunjin feel lighter.

Jeongin got Hyunjin to wash his lip in the sink and gave him an ice pack to hold against it, which helped with swelling. Hyunjin was sure he’d have a few bruises but those weren’t a big deal.

They set up the futon in Jeongin’s room, which turned into a courtesy battle of Jeongin insisting Hyunjin take the bed because he was a guest and Hyunjin arguing he shouldn’t force Jeongin out of his bed. Hyunjin won in the end, but Jeongin was still pouting when the door scraped in the lock and Jeongin’s father got home from work.

Jeongin’s father had the same kind face as Jeongin but the spark in his eyes was diminished. He began preparing Japanese-style curry for dinner as Hyunjin and Jeongin went through Jeongin’s game collection.

Hyunjin found himself having so much fun he completely forgot about entire Minho disaster, laughing till he cried at Jeongin as he repeatedly dropped off the road over and over on Mario Kart.

The bed debate cropped up yet again at the dinner table, much to the humour of Jeongin’s father. Jeongin’s voice got increasingly whiny as Hyunjin refused continually to sleep on his bed.

“I have an idea,” said Jeongin’s father calmly. “Why don’t you both take my bedroom, it’s a double bed and I can sleep on Jeongin’s.” Jeongin opened his mouth to protest but Hyunjin pinched his thigh under the table to shut him up.

“That sounds great, sir.” He replied, plastering on the biggest smile he could without reopening his wound.

Beside him, Jeongin was glaring at his father, betrayal in his eyes.

After splitting with Jeongin’s mother, his father told Jeongin 'love was easy to find but hard to keep so as long as they loved you, that was all that mattered'. Jeongin’s father knew his son well and from the way Jeongin was acting, he could tell Hyunjin was more than a friend. So, what if he intervened?

Jeongin mouthed ‘Dad!’ at his father before clearing away the dishes, all scraped clean. His father returned with a very out-of-character wink that made Jeongin mime gagging.

“I’ll do the dishes, don’t worry.” Jeongin’s father made a motion of dismissal. “Go move your things to my room and have fun.”

*

Hyunjin flopped down onto the double bed and felt the springs creak beneath him. Jeongin wasn’t as well-off as he was, but he was a lot closer with his father than Hyunjin, which he was a little envious of.

“You seem really close with your dad,” commented Hyunjin, eyes closed as he heard Jeongin come into the room, laden with snacks. “It’s like you’re friends.”

“Well, Dad doesn’t really have many friends his age,” replied Jeongin, the crinkling of plastic almost deafening as he dropped everything onto the bed. “I think he gets lonely because of that so I try and talk to him more.”

The bed dipped down as Jeongin climbed onto the bed to lay beside Hyunjin. It would be a lie to say Jeongin wasn't terrified about sleeping in the same bed as Hyunjin, but he was also very, very eager. The butterflies in his stomach were the good kind, fluttering madly.

“How are you such a great person?” mumbled Hyunjin, turning to face Jeongin who was staring at the ceiling. “I bet you’d never do something as stupid as I did.”

Ah, so Hyunjin was ready to talk about it now? After spending so long with Hyunjin, any nerves from being with his crush had entirely faded and Jeongin was much less jumpy and flustered.

“I don’t think I’m brave enough to do such a dramatic gesture if I like someone,” A huge part of this was because Hyunjin was a boy and Jeongin didn’t want to be bullied by homophobic classmates and the fact remained that Hyunjin was straight. Even if Jeongin didn’t consider himself gay per se, it wouldn’t matter to others. But even without these circumstances, Jeongin still couldn’t picture himself doing what Hyunjin did.

“Well, bravery is part stupidity too,” reasoned Hyunjin, “It just means you’re smart and you can actually make good decisions.” Jeongin mentally prepared himself and turned around to face Hyunjin so they were both making eye contact on the bed.

“Have you liked someone?” said Hyunjin softly. They were so close together, there wasn’t a need to talk loudly. He could’ve whispered and Jeongin would have still easily heard him.

Something about the situation was intimate to Hyunjin but he couldn’t quite put his finger on why, because Jeongin was just a friend helping him out. The stirring in his chest was not that different to the feeling Hyunjin got watching Jeongyeon but he blocked this out, he could think about that another day.

“I liked a girl in middle school,” replied Jeongin honestly. “But it was more of a crush than serious feelings so I can’t really compare it to your feelings for Jeongyeon.” The elephant in the room trumpeted loudly in Jeongin’s ear. He felt like he was holding a giant sign that read ‘I LIKE HWANG HYUNJIN’ that was only invisible to Hyunjin.

“What are you going to do about the situation?” asked Jeongin, wanting to steer the conversation away from who he liked. “Will you keep helping with the film?”

Hyunjin exhaled slowly. “I don’t think I can face them again after that. At least, not yet.”

“You’ll see them in class though,”

“What if everyone sides with Minho and they all think I’m a humongous dick?”

Jeongin tittered. “I’m on your side, is that not enough?”

Hyunjin considered the joke seriously. “You’re more than enough.”

Jeongin turned to face the wall so Hyunjin couldn’t see his burning cheeks. This meant he couldn’t see how the way Hyunjin looked at him had changed, from just friendly to fond.

“You should try and explain your side of the story though,” Jeongin pressed on, “We still have the school year left and things might get weird if you don’t.”

“I’ll get everything right,” placated Hyunjin, “But after the festival maybe. There’s only the damn confession scene left anyway so any one of them could step in to shoot it.”

Jeongin gave a meaningful cough. “The film isn’t done with just the footage. We have editing and the production side too.”

“I’m not helping,” said Hyunjin shortly, “I _can’t_.”

“You can, you just don’t want to,” summarised Jeongin and Hyunjin knew he was right. “I can’t force you either way, it’s up to you.”

“If I make up with Minho,” relented Hyunjin eventually. “If things are good with Minho, I’ll keep helping. But I can’t imagine spending time there watching them otherwise.” It was implied ‘them’ referred to Minho and Jeongyeon.

Jeongin considered this. He’d watched Hyunjin date other girls in the first year of high school and comforted Hyunjin when he was pining over a girl that was ultimately unreachable to him. It hurt, of course it hurt, but as Jeongin’s love burned on the stove, it had boiled and boiled and reduced to a simmer.

At first, seeing Hyunjin with a girl had been like rubbing salt into an open wound which over time was raw from how often it was irritated. It didn’t have a chance to fully heal. Now? It was dull and uncomfortable throbbing in his chest, not as intense but still just as persistent.

“Is it that painful to watch?” Jeongin had really forgotten what it felt like to be in the obsessive first stage of a crush.

“It’s not just Jeongyeon. It also hurts seeing Minho drifting away from me. I feel like I’m being replaced.”

“You’d have to deal with him being in a relationship sooner or later,” mused Jeongin, “You can have a best friend and a girlfriend simultaneously.”

“Logic doesn’t work on me,” said Hyunjin self-deprecatingly. “My feelings just do whatever they want and I’m their slave.”

“Well, slave,” declared Jeongin, ending the conversation before it took a depressing direction. “Shall we get ready for bed?”

*

When Jeongin returned, fresh and clean after his shower, Hyunjin was already tucked beneath the covers on the right-hand side of the bed, scrolling through his phone.

“Anything from Minho?” asked Jeongin cautiously, pulling the duvet back and sliding in. His father only had one large duvet so he’d be sharing a blanket with Hyunjin. Every time he focused too hard on that fact, Jeongin could feel a meltdown approaching.

“No, but Chan and Felix have both messaged me telling me not to leave the team.”

“See, they want you back on the team!” Jeongin disguised his excitement as being a supportive friend, but he really did want Hyunjin to stay on the team. It wouldn’t be half as fun if he couldn’t work on the film with Hyunjin.

Hyunjin didn’t reply but he was rapidly typing, fingers flying across the screen in a blur.

“What are you saying?” Jeongin peeked curiously at the screen.

“I just said I’m leaving for good,” mumbled Hyunjin almost inaudibly, hastily placing his phone on the nightstand.

“What?” yelped Jeongin, “You just said-!”

“Y-you should’ve stopped me then!” Hyunjin shot back but he didn’t seem offended. Jeongin pushed himself up onto his elbows and stretched over Hyunjin to try and snatch the phone back to have a glimpse.

Hyunjin tugged his outstretched arm and Jeongin lost his balance and collapsed onto Hyunjin’s chest with a thump.

“That hurts like a motherfucker!” Jeongin turned to check Hyunjin’s expression – he didn’t usually swear. Hyunjin saw his serious expression and the corners of his lips quirked upwards.

“Why are you looking at me like I’m going to kill you?” laughed Hyunjin, reaching out to pinch Jeongin’s cheek lightly, making Jeongin freeze instantly.

“It’s so cute,” continued Hyunjin, absolutely oblivious Jeongin’s internal mental overload. Jeongin ripped himself off Hyunjin a tad too fast to be natural, feeling blood rush past his ears.

If Hyunjin kept saying things like that, Jeongin would probably do something just as stupid as Hyunjin. The more comfortable Hyunjin felt around him, the more hope Jeongin’s irrational brain got. This also increased the probability of Jeongin doing something out of impulse.

He’d wanted to say fuck it all and kiss Hyunjin so much in that moment.

Hyunjin looked a bit bemused at Jeongin’s sudden retreat but thankfully didn’t comment on it. Maybe he thought he had made Jeongin uncomfortable.

“You never swear though,” said Jeongin, a safe distance between him and Hyunjin. “I got worried for a second.”

Hyunjin giggled and stretched his arms towards Jeongin. “Come here, Innie?”

“What do you mean?” stammered Jeongin, trying to find another interpretation besides ‘hug me’. His blood pressure immediately shot back up.

“I want to cuddle,” said Hyunjin cutely but he also looked a bit unsure of what he was saying. “Everything went to shit today and well…”

He paused and turned bright red.

“Hugs always make me feel better.”

Jeongin was so gobsmacked that Hyunjin must have misread his face.

“Y-you don’t have to if it makes you feel weird or gross…I’m sorry for suggesting it in the first place!” Hyunjin pursed his lips awkwardly.

In the past few weeks, Jeongin had gone from being passing acquaintances to…Hwang Hyunjin asking if he could cuddle him? He could hardly process it.

 _Yes, yes, yes_ , his lovestruck mind demanded. What other chances will you get? Just take it and don’t ask too many questions.

“Oh no, now I’ve made everything awkward again…” said Hyunjin, looking crestfallen. “Oof!”

Jeongin took the plunge and rolled closer to Hyunjin on the bed, wrapping his arms around him, face pressed into Hyunjin’s neck.

Confidence bolstered, Hyunjin returned the hug. Jeongin could feel Hyunjin’s warm breath tickling his neck.

He was glad his face was hidden, whatever expression he had would definitely have given his feelings away.

If he shut his eyes, Jeongin could almost pretend Hyunjin was wrapped around him because he liked Jeongin. Now he had gotten a little taste of what being with Hyunjin was like, rather than being sated, his appetite was further whetted.

If he was hungry before, now he was ravenous.

“I’m sorry, Innie. I can’t help with the film now, even for you.”

Jeongin, who was warm, drowsy and kind of high on the Hyunjin’s scent just nodded blearily. That was how they fell asleep.

*

When they woke the following morning, still sharing each other’s warmth, Jeongin was giddy with excitement. The weekend passed like a flowery dream.

Reality soon hit on Monday when a stony silence slammed down like a brick wall between Minho and Hyunjin as they went to their adjacent lockers before lessons started.

It appeared a cold war had started between them. So much for talking and making up. Chan, Felix – nearly all the members of the film team had visited Hyunjin individually and together to ask for him to return, besides Jeongyeon and Minho obviously.

Each time Hyunjin had refused, citing his reason as not wanting to damage the team dynamics any further than he already had and apologised.

“I’m sorry, but I can’t.” This was Hyunjin’s firm reply every time. Jeongin, who was sat in the seat next to Hyunjin watched each scenario with dismay. Nothing he said could convince Hyunjin otherwise.

What made matters worse was that Hyunjin’s impromptu confession to Jeongyeon became the catalyst for Minho and Jeongyeon’s relationship. Jeongin had heard the a little from Jisung (the boy loved to gossip).

After giving Hyunjin a good whack, Minho and Jeongyeon had somehow confessed later that and started dating. Or at least that was what Jeongin concluded from how he saw them holding hands in the editing room.

There was another noticeable difference though. Before, it had only been Minho sneaking glances at Jeongyeon as she looked the other way but now Jeongyeon was doing it too.

Hm. Hyunjin’s luck was almost as bad as his.

Jeongin laughed to himself but it wasn’t funny. It was just rather pathetic.

*

It seemed like Minho was never going to talk to Hyunjin again. Well, that was fine with Hyunjin. After staying over at Jeongin’s, a line that Hyunjin hadn’t even been aware of had been crossed and their friendship had levelled up like a player in a boss battle.

Before, Hyunjin felt like Jeongin was unsure about skinship but now Jeongin was generous with it. Swinging an arm around the other was absolutely normal now as well as a casual pat. That made Hyunjin happy, as he had told Jeongin, he thrived off touch. Physical touch was probably his love language.

After finding out that Jeongin had been taking such a big detour to walk home with Hyunjin, presumably so Hyunjin wouldn’t be stuck with Minho and Jeongyeon, Hyunjin refused to let Jeongin be so self-sacrificing again.

They had reached a compromise and took turns for the house they walked to first, saying goodbye with a hug – this was starting to become their usual routine.

Sometimes, Jeongin stayed later at school to work on the film with the others. Hyunjin would hole himself up in the library and wait for him. Jeongin was always tactful and only texted Hyunjin to say he was leaving after everyone else had left already.

“How’s the film coming along?”

“We’re close to finishing actually. I think we can submit it before the deadline,” said Jeongin with his wide grin.

_God, that smile was adorable._

Hyunjin always thought Jeongin was adorable even though they weren’t far apart in age. Maybe Jeongin was like the little brother he’d never had. Every time Jeongin showed all his teeth in a smile, Hyunjin wanted to glomp him and coo at his baby face.

They’d visited each other’s houses a few times since, although Hyunjin much preferred Jeongin’s apartment to his house. Jeongin was most relaxed there and when Jeongin was relaxed, he reached his maximum level of playfulness and teasing, pranking Hyunjin left and right.

Every time, Hyunjin always ended up sleeping over and Jeongin’s dad always gave up his bed so they could snuggle together in the double bed.

It was also becoming a habit to study together and both do their homework in the library. Jeongin tutored Hyunjin in Maths, his best subject and Hyunjin helped out Jeongin with English, having gotten a better grasp from living there briefly as a child.

Jeongin’s company eased the Hyunjin’s heartache like aloe vera applied to a burn. When he was with Jeongin, nothing in the past mattered. All Hyunjin focused on was the present and that Jeongin was right beside him, always there for him.

_Throughout everything, Jeongin is the person who has always been here for me._

Jeongin was always supporting Hyunjin, cheering him on but not pushing him to do things he was reluctant to. It was so _easy_ to be with Jeongin. Hyunjin knew Jeongin was always considerate around him which only made Hyunjin determined to look out for Jeongin the same way.

Jeongin never liked talking about crushes so Hyunjin tried his best to steer clear of that subject. Jeongin always had a pinched expression whenever Hyunjin brought up Jeongyeon so Hyunjin lessened that too. He thought of Jeongyeon less and less these days, and usually only wistfully as he stared at a cloud drifting by.

“Hyunjin, stop looking out the window!” barked the teacher. Hyunjin sheepishly faced the front again, refusing to lose himself in the calmness of the sky. He saw Minho watching him and purposely avoided making eye contact.

The hole left by Minho was worth ten years of Hyunjin’s life and it couldn’t be filled easily by anyone. Hyunjin valued Minho over Jeongyeon and still desperately wanted his friend back. No one wanted their friendship to end over something so trivial.

But they were both unwilling to break the permanent silence that had developed between them and mend the frayed ends of their friendship. Hyunjin was a coward, he knew that much but he didn’t know if Minho was like him, too afraid to approach – or simply unwilling.

These uncertainties weighed on his mind and prevented him from asking, despite Jeongin’s encouragement.

*

The day of the school festival finally arrived. The entire school was abuzz with well…festivities. From the classrooms to the hall, stalls were being set up in every corner. Even the ideas that Hyunjin’s class had discarded were being carrying out. A class in the year above was actually putting on a maid café with both male and female maids. The decorating class had done a fine job, leaving paper chains hanging from every corridor, the walls plastered with posters and advertisements. Another class was also doing a play in the auditorium.

Their class had been transformed into a makeshift cinema with black curtains against the windows and popcorn being sold outside. It would be shown on a loop. Even though he was an ex-member, Hyunjin nevertheless had done the camerawork for most of the film so he was exempt from any duties.

Jeongin was still with the film team, probably suffering through some sentimental commemoration speech so Hyunjin was alone for the morning.

The scents wafting from many food stalls was making Hyunjin’s mouth water. He could see different types of street food – taiyaki, fishcakes in broth, tteokbokki, even burgers.

For the most part, Hyunjin aimlessly wondered through the school, checking out what other people had done but not paying much attention to what he saw. He’d arranged a time to meet with Jeongin and explore the festival so he decided to save what little attention span he had for then.

*

Jeongin was in the editing room with the rest of the crew, having their final send-off. They’d finished the film a week prior to the deadline and had a small celebration. Chan had asked him to invite Hyunjin, seeing as he had done nearly all the filming but Hyunjin unsurprisingly refused.

At the party, thankfully wasn’t alone in the corner being antisocial. He mostly talked to Seungmin and Felix who were sort of becoming his friends, which was nice. Ever since joining school, Jeongin hadn’t exactly been a socialite extraordinaire but he did have a few people who he vaguely got along with.

Seungmin and Felix were falling into that category of ‘friend friends’, rather than classmates. Of course, nowhere as close as Hyunjin. Him and Hyunjin were no so close, Jeongin hardly dared believe it.

They’d gone through so much together! To be specific, Hyunjin had gone through a lot and Jeongin just tried to pick up the pieces and glue him back together. Either way, it was dangerous for Jeongin. Ever little action made him hope and there had been a gradual subtle shift in his mindset. Now there was a permanent feeling of hopefulness that maybe, maybe Hyunjin did like him back.

His rationality and logic refused to let him believe this but an irritating part of him just wouldn’t give up.

 _Hyunjin has a crush on you,_ it whispered. _You feed each other, you hang out together all the time and you study together, you sleep on the same bed and even cuddle. That’s not something friends do. That’s not something straight guys usually do with their friends!_

I’m only his friend because I can’t say no to Hyunjin, Jeongin would try to argue back. Hyunjin probably does this with Minho too.

 _Have you asked him though?_ His traitorous mind responded swiftly. _How do you know? Maybe you’re special?_

Unconsciously, drawn in by Hyunjin’s overly attached behaviour, Jeongin had let himself slip. He didn’t try to maintain suitable distance from Hyunjin and avoid crossing certain lines. He just tried to enjoy as much as could, grab every chance possible. Jeongin knew this would make the eventual heartbreak a thousand times worse than what it would be.

Now he had an idea of what it would be like, it would only become a painful reminder of what he could never have. It was like turning blind. If you were born blind, maybe you wouldn’t feel the need to see the world as strongly as someone who lost their vision after years of having sight. You would have so much more to lose. That was how Jeongin felt about the whole situation with Hyunjin.

He could just see everything happening. Eventually Hyunjin would make up with Minho and Jeongin’s presence would be phased out, diluted like squash in a glass. Eventually, Jeongin would end up as the third wheel and fade into the background, just becoming a memory of Hyunjin’s. A friend that had helped him out once during high school. They had gotten close but the friendship wasn’t strong enough to see it through past graduation, so they would lose touch and Hyunjin would go onto to greater things with Minho by his side.

Maybe years later, Hyunjin would look back and reminisce on the good old days and think ‘Ah, Jeongin, I wonder what he’s doing now’.

Jeongin would just mourn his first love and move on somehow. It wasn’t a pretty future but Jeongin couldn’t see any other way out, unless of course that impossible happy ending happened. But he wasn’t banking on that scenario, even though he was always dwelling on it.

Now Jeongin was running to find Hyunjin, they’d agreed to meet up the night before and spend the festival with only the two of them, politely declining Felix’s invitation to join him, Seungmin and Jisung.

He looked through the classrooms but didn’t see Hyunjin’s figure.

Jeongin wondered whether Hyunjin had indeed gotten over Jeongyeon yet. Hyunjin did speak of her less these days but who knew? Maybe he was still crying to himself every night about it. He could be putting on a brave front for Jeongin, it was hard to tell.

He could almost pretend it was a date, being together at the festival. Maybe it was a date but Hyunjin was just oblivious.

_No, I shouldn’t think like that._

Jeongin gazed ruefully at the ground. He should at least think straight.

“Hyunjin!” he called, spotting Hyunjin’s back over by the food stalls. Hyunjin whipped round, waving enthusiastically. So enthusiastically that he forgot about the drink he was holding and splashed it everywhere.

Jeongin obediently followed Hyunjin into the bathroom. Hyunjin tried to scrub the coffee stains out of his jumper and sighed deeply as the stain spread further across the fabric.

“Don’t worry, I’m sure the stain will come out later,” said Jeongin and he checked his watch. “We should go and watch our film now.”

“As long as none of the other film crew are there.” Jeongin rolled his eyes at that and dragged Hyunjin out the bathroom, jumper now tied around his waist.

To Hyunjin’s luck, the classroom was free of people he knew and the film crew. They chose a seat near the back and waited for the film to play. Jeongin offered him popcorn but Hyunjin denied it. His appetite was gone, he felt nervous with anticipation, his back ramrod straight and whole body locked into a rigid position.

This was like the ultimate test to see how much he still cared about Jeongyeon. The film started playing and the lights went out. Even for an amateur production, it was quite good. Jeongin really held the film together. Without his comedic scenes, the film would be a lot more boring.

Hyunjin’s shooting was also quite skilled even if he said so himself. Every time Jeongin appeared on the screen, real-life Jeongin cringed in mortification and tried to hide his face with his hands.

The confession scene started playing on the rooftop. Minho took Jeongyeon’s hands in his, confessed and leaned in, then the credits rolled.

Hyunjin was surprised. It had not bothered him nearly as much as he had predicted. Maybe there was a twinge of irritation, sadness at the loss but it was not unbearable enough for him to run to the front of the classroom and kick the projector till it broke. Although that did sound tempting.

Jeongin clapped at the credits proudly, pointing out Hyunjin’s name excitedly. Warmth filled Hyunjin’s heart at the sight. That had been happening a great deal recently as he was usually watching Jeongin more and more.

Hyunjin was zoned out, thinking to himself, when Jeongin grabbed his hand to lead him out of the classroom. His hands were cold but it was so pleasant. Jeongin seemed to realise what he was doing and dropped his hand quickly.

Hyunjin found himself in a sexuality crisis all of a sudden. Boom. A bolt of lightning struck him and he was imbued with a flood of emotions. Why did he feel so flustered? Had he moved on from Jeongyeon then?

How had he been oblivious the whole time? Now that he considered, something had been off ever since he spent that night at Jeongin’s.

_Did he like Jeongin, more than friends should?_

Hang on. What if he was only projecting onto Jeongin, as a result of how Jeongin was his only friend right now? He had never thought of himself as anything besides straight, so why would this happen out of nowhere?

He decided to not act on any feelings for now.

 _If my feelings come and go this quickly,_ he realised, _how do I know they’re real?_

Hyunjin’s emotional awareness was obviously terrible. Realising he liked Jeongyeon had also come like a slap in the face, all of a sudden. He hoped it wouldn’t be like that for the rest of his life.

_I don’t know…_

Hyunjin didn’t want to out himself randomly on a whim or lose Jeongin’s friendship. It wasn’t like he got a little message from his brain telling him he was gay. Who knew if he was confused? He would keep this to himself until…until what? Until the feelings went away. He couldn’t risk it. If he could get over Jeongyeon, he could get over this. He didn’t even know if it was romantically inclined or not.

Either way, it was making him flustered when he was with Jeongin. It was like when he’d had a dream about dating Minho when he was thirteen and avoided him, only to blurt it out to Minho who had laughed it off easily. It could be similar to that as well.

If Hyunjin was more absentminded during the rest of the festival, Jeongin didn’t pick up on it. Maybe he knew Hyunjin was thinking about his own issues, for which Hyunjin was grateful.

It was an enjoyable day with the two of them until they emerged from the fortune telling booth (a load of rubbish) to see Minho and Jeongyeon at the adjacent stall, which sold scented candles.

All four of them froze and then Jeongyeon broke the awkward silence and gave a quick bow as a greeting.

Minho shrugged and started to leave when Hyunjin, unable to take it anymore, grabbed his wrist.

Jeongyeon and Jeongin’s eyes widened in understanding and they both left in opposite directions. They knew it was something Minho and Hyunjin had to get over together.

Hyunjin turned to look at Minho. He knew it was a now or never moment. If he didn’t talk to Minho, there wouldn’t be another chance for a while. He might always be too cowardly to reach out to his friend again.

“Minho, I’m so sorry. Can we talk?” Minho looked at him hesitantly, his expression was closed off. Hyunjin prayed he would listen.

“Okay, fine,” said Minho curtly.

They walked past the stalls to a less crowded area. They both sat down and Hyunjin felt like his heart was about to rocket out of his chest.

“I-I…” But he stopped. What should he say? What should even happen? “I’m really sorry for all those things I said about you.” He was ashamed.

He’d tried not to think about what he’d said in the fight in the days after it had occurred because it was simply too painful but ever since watching the film, he’d just been reliving the details of the rooftop and the fight and it was sending him in a downwards guilty spiral.

“I didn’t mean what I said. You’re a great listener. You’ve always been there for me and I should have relied on you more. I shouldn’t have hidden my feelings about Jeongyeon.”

Minho didn’t say anything, he just tapped his foot on the ground steadily. Hyunjin pressed on, at least wanting to get his side of the story out because at least Minho was giving a chance to explain himself.

“I don’t know why we fell into this silence where we don’t talk. I didn’t come back to the film crew because I was too scared to talk to you, but…now I really miss you. All the memories we have, all the time we spent together, it’s like the most valuable thing we have. It’s like…It is the most valuable thing I have in my life. It really means a lot me.”

Hyunjin took a deep breath.

“I don’t want it to end over a girl.”

Minho still said nothing, keeping his expression carefully neutral. Finally, something flitted across his face. Was it irritation? Annoyance? Minho gnawed on his bottom lip, looking conflicted.

“I’m sorry too, Hyunjin,” he said rigidly. “I shouldn’t have-I said things, I provoked you too. You shouldn’t put the blame on yourself. I shouldn’t have belittled your feelings like that either. We’re both in the wrong.”

Hyunjin hardly dared to believe it. Was Minho really forgiving him?

“Can-can we forgive each other and move on and be friends again?” said Hyunjin desperately. It was like there was a golden light was shining through the windows, only bathing him and Minho. This was a spotlight to separate them from everyone, their magical friendship moment.

Minho looked troubled. “I really want to but…I don’t know if Jeongin told you but…me and Jeongyeon, we’re together now.”

Maybe there was a dull throb in Hyunjin’s chest but he didn’t really feel anything. Perhaps he didn’t really care about Jeongyeon after all, if he ever had.

“Um, actually that’s OK,” said Hyunjin, “I think after not seeing Jeongyeon for a while, I realised I didn’t like her as much as I thought. It could have been infatuation or an obsession that got out of hand. I don’t mind that, seriously. I promise I’d tell you if I did.”

Minho nodded solemnly but then his face broke out into an infectious grin. Ah, how Hyunjin had missed it.

“That’s great!” exclaimed Minho, clapping his hands. “You know what, I really missed you too. There’s just no one quite like my brother.”

Hyunjin dipped his head in agreement.

Finally, Hyunjin was light. Some murky part of him was scrubbed clean. It was like being baptised. What he had done on the rooftop was just a stain that could be scrubbed away. It would remain for people to see, but it was faded and didn’t jump out in your face.

After he spoke to Minho, he spoke. “I have to get back to Jeongin but I’ll talk to you tomorrow at school.”

Minho gathered him in a tight embrace. It was as if their trust and affection had been mended and nothing had ever happened.

Maybe temporarily they’d be a little wary and cautious around each other but Hyunjin was sure that would go away. It would. Then things would be back to normal.

He caught up to Jeongin who picked up instantly. “Where are you, Innie?”

Hyunjin couldn’t contain the pure happiness in his voice. “I think Minho and I are good again!”

“That’s great!” Jeongin’s voice rang from the phone, tinny and compressed. Hyunjin didn’t quite know how to name the emotion in Jeongin’s voice so he stopped figuring it out and forgot about it.

“Where are you right now?” he asked instead.

“I’m by the classroom. Chan wanted to give me us DVDs he made of the film. Do you want to come and get one?”

When they met outside the cinema (classroom), Minho was there too. Hyunjin smiled warmly at him and received an identical smile in return.

This was so nice, no more having to pretend to hate each other and refuse to acknowledge the other’s existence.

It was wonderful. Everything was wonderful now and Hyunjin could relax.

*

After the festival, Jeongin walked home with Hyunjin with a heavy heart. He knew logically he should be glad that Hyunjin made up with Minho because then Hyunjin would be in a better mood. But what about me?

A small voice was telling him that the scenario he dreaded was beginning already. He didn’t think it would be this soon though.

_I don’t know why but I feel like my days with Hyunjin are numbered. I’m not a precious person to him._

It had been stupid anyway. Jeongin knew his behaviour was lowkey unhealthy. He liked Hyunjin but he shouldn’t try to give Hyunjin everything he wanted, at the expense of his own needs. Jeongin needed to be his own person too but it was so hard not to devote _everything._

_I would give up everything for this man._

No, I wouldn’t! Shut up, intrusive thoughts. Jeongin huffed and Hyunjin raised his eyebrows quizzically.

Hyunjin watched the film too and had been off ever since. Hyunjin was probably thinking about how to make up with Minho and an opportunity presented itself.

Well, he deserves some good luck. Why would I try to prevent it?

They arrived at Hyunjin’s house first and Jeongin spread his arms for their usual farewell hug. Hyunjin looked stony and he seemed hesitant, like he didn’t want to touch Jeongin. Bewildered, Jeongin lowered his arms. He was perplexed.

What came over Hyunjin? Hyunjin eventually gave him a one-armed bro hug and headed into his house.

Jeongin was a little hurt and confused but what could he do? Demand Hyunjin gave him a proper hug? He didn’t have the right. He trudged home, to his dad who was waiting to hear all the details of the festival ‘date’.

The next day at school, the whole class seemed livelier. Hyunjin and Minho were after all, extremely popular and in the weeks that they weren’t talking, a lot of gossip had been spreading like wildfire. As the film crew were the only people who saw it happen, there wasn’t much to go off as everyone had kept their mouths shut. This only encouraged people to speculate wild conspiracy theories from gang wars to secret agents.

When Hyunjin and Minho greeted each other as normal, everything fell back into place. They were the Golden Duo, everything was alright. The rumours had no fuel left to burn with so they all dissolved into ashes.

Jeongin couldn’t help but feel left out. Hyunjin only spent all his time with Jeongin because he didn’t have anyone else to. Naturally, he would devote his attention to Minho too now they had made up. Jeongin just had to get used to not being the centre of Hyunjin’s attention all the time. That didn’t make it hurt any less though.

At lunch, Hyunjin would sit with Minho. He would always ask Jeongin to join them but Jeongin still felt left out. He felt less and less like Hyunjin’s friend and more like some pitiful hanger-on especially as all eyes were back on the Golden Duo – and him. He felt like a person with no friends who had been permitted to sit with them only because Hyunjin was nice.

When Hyunjin and Minho talked, Jeongin couldn’t always keep up. They shared so many memories and experiences that Jeongin couldn’t compete with.

They’d often launch into tales of their childhood adventures and Jeongin could only listen but he didn’t know the right reactions or when to interject either.

And now when they walked home, the three of them and sometimes Jeongyeon too, would always arrive at Hyunjin’s house first, then Minho’s because theirs was closest to school and they lived closest together. But this was also the order that they’d gone in when walking home during the film so Jeongin kept getting unpleasant flashbacks.

After Hyunjin went into his house, Jeongin would always bid goodbye to Minho and say his route diverted from there. It wasn’t that he didn’t like Minho, no, Minho was funny and similar to Hyunjin – but with a much sharper tongue and wackier thoughts. But Minho was a competitor, competing with Jeongin for Hyunjin’s attention.

Right now, Minho was winning and this didn’t sit well with Jeongin’s jealous heart. He didn’t know if he could stand it.

*

Jeongin’s life was not going well.

Every day, Jeongin watched the distance between him and Hyunjin grow. He told himself it was OK, now he could go back to life as before where he only watched from afar. Seungmin and Felix were also his friends now so it wasn’t like he was alone.

Now him and Hyunjin didn’t study together in the library after school and Hyunjin hadn’t invited Jeongin to his house either because he was always catching up with Minho.

“I’m sorry,” Hyunjin would say, then quirk his head much like a loveable puppy. “Next time?”

Jeongin always nodded glumly. Even when he tried to invite Hyunjin over, Hyunjin just gave him a pained look and apologised.

More than being upset about it, anger and resentment inevitably bubbled up in Jeongin. Hyunjin couldn’t just call him a good friend and ignore him! It was with a mixture of hurt and anger that Jeongin kept glancing at Hyunjin in class, but the latter was completely oblivious, swapping grins with Minho.

Jeongin gritted his teeth and carried on. He was strong and he _would_ get through this.

One of his growing concerns was that maybe it was more than a crush. Wasn’t two years a bit long to be infatuated with someone? He looked up articles on the internet like ‘how to tell it’s love’ and scrolled them quickly before shutting the tab and feeling queasy.

For the first time in a long time, as Jeongin laid in bed at night, he couldn’t quite stop the tears trickling down as he stared at the ceiling, leaking from the corners of his eyes and into his ears.

*

Hyunjin’s life was going very well. Him and Minho were once again the dream team. ‘Normal’ had never been a bad time for Hyunjin so he was more than pleased to resume normality.

The problem that kept cropping up were his icky feelings. Was it because he was a hormonal teenager? He couldn’t seem to just like no one, his heart always had to yearn for another’s presence.

Jeongin. His sweet, lovely Jeongin. Hyunjin frowned to himself. He shouldn’t be thinking like that.

It was even worse than crushing on Jeongyeon. The probability of reciprocation was less than zero. Jeongin had even told him that he’d liked a girl in middle school. Besides, Hyunjin was still confused why he suddenly liked a guy. He’d hugged and snuggled and clung onto Minho like glue through his whole life but never had he suddenly wanted to run his fingers through his best friend’s hair and kiss him senseless.

 _Ew._ Even the notion was disgusting. But when it came to Jeongin…Hyunjin could still remember the way his heart fluttered when Jeongin held his hand during the festival.

He could just be curious and horny, a dangerous combination. The crush he’d had for Jeongyeon was purer, filling his head with images of fluffy little scenarios like holding hands, kisses on the cheek, picnics at the park, that kind of cotton-candy sweetness. But for Jeongin, it was all that and more…

A hungry beast had ripped free of its chains in Hyunjin and made him thirsty as hell. He found himself missing how Jeongin was, earlier in their friendship, when any touch made him red-faced and flustered. Hyunjin frequently felt himself thinking of the _other_ ways he could elicit the same expression on Jeongin’s face. He’d felt so out of control in his life.

He was two seconds from turning into a blubbering mess around Jeongin so Hyunjin tried to distance himself slightly till his hormones cooled off and all the butterflies flew away. He hadn’t dared sleep over at Jeongin’s anymore because then Jeongin would question or be hurt by why Hyunjin didn’t want to cuddle with him.

Hyunjin couldn’t exactly say it was because the close proximity would make him combust. He tried to use the excuse of catching up with Minho and straightening out things but he didn’t know how long Jeongin would accept it. It was hard for Hyunjin to balance Minho and Jeongin because he was so used to only being with Minho and now, he had another person to focus on.

And Hyunjin was still scared. He knew what reaction his parents would have if he told them he possibly liked Jeongin, liked a _boy._ He knew what people in school would say about him. It would completely and utterly destroy his reputation.

Time was meant to heal everything wasn’t it? So, he squashed his feelings down, tried not to stay too close to Jeongin and carried on.

It still didn’t quite stop his stomach sinking every time he talked to Jeongin in class, an odd mixture of fear and joy.

*

Hyunjin had learnt his lesson from his disastrous semi-confession to Jeongyeon. He could not keep things to himself without them exploding out of him. If he kept repressing these feelings for Jeongin and bottling it up, Hyunjin had no doubt one day he would snap and grab Jeongin and attempt to kiss the life out of him.

The longer it hung on his mind, the more he had been forced to accept it. A part of him was able to like guys, or at least he really did like Jeongin and it wasn't going away. It was getting so much that Hyunjin just needed to tell someone.

Who else could he turn to, but his reinstated bestie?

The subject of being gay was not something they’d ever discussed but Hyunjin was convinced Minho wouldn’t care seeing, as they had been friends for so long. Minho and Hyunjin both attended church because their parents were religious but Hyunjin thought in this day and age, you’d have to be pretty close-minded to think being gay was a crime.

_It’s not like it makes a huge difference to my personality._

After school on a Friday, Hyunjin was staying the night at Minho’s to finish a drama they had been binging (namely Your Mister) and play video games. Considering Hyunjin had known Jeongin for a much shorter time, yet the atmosphere was just as familiar when they hung out.

As Minho and Hyunjin sobbed their eyes out at the last episode, bolstered and inspired by the characters of the drama, Hyunjin decided to get the ball rolling.

“Minho, have you ever thought about liking guys?” asked Hyunjin as casually as he could, sinking back into the pillows on sofa where he was sharing a blanket with Minho.

“Why are you asking?” Minho clambered out the blankets to switch off the television then nested back into their burrow.

“I mean, isn’t it normal to think about things like that at least once?” said Hyunjin.

Minho wrinkled his nose.

“I guess I have...but the concept seems weird to me and I’m straight anyway. I don’t really want to be one of those…a person says they’re gay and stuff.”

“I get where you’re coming from,” replied Hyunjin. “I don’t think Koreans accept gay people very well.”

Minho tossed his hair back. “That wasn’t what I meant.”

The lights from the street were flickering in front of Hyunjin’s eyes as he listened and the flickering seemed to be getting more rapid, till the lights were dazzling him. Hyunjin blinked.

“Don’t get me wrong,” continued Minho, “I don’t have anything against gay people, I don’t hate them. But they’re just not _normal._ I always see people asking for representation and all that but I don’t think it’s appropriate, you know? I don’t think it should be encouraged.”

“I mean, what if someone you knew said they might like guys?” Hyunjin asked tentatively, digging his nails into his palms hard.

“I don’t know…” said Minho with a shrug. “I’d probably feel uncomfortable being with them. You too, right?”

Hyunjin was dumbfounded. Minho was not someone he would have expected words like that from. Minho’s family were extremely conservative but he had expected more from Minho. Even if that was the reason, it didn’t ease the hot prickly feeling of discomfort running down his spine.

He wasn’t suddenly evil because he liked Jeongin. Jeongin was a great person anyway.

A strong roaring in his head was preventing him from thinking clearly. All he knew was he didn’t want to look at Minho’s face any longer.

Hyunjin stood up and pushed the blanket back. He unplugged his phone charger and tossed it into his rucksack carelessly. The roaring got louder and louder, drowning out the rest of his thoughts. He wanted to go. Out. Away.

He picked up his coat and slung his rucksack over his back, uncaring that his things were all squished messily.

“Hey, where are you going?” said Minho, confused. “I thought your parents said it was OK to stay over tonight.”

“I don’t know,” returned Hyunjin, trying to stop his voice shaking. “But I don’t think I should stay if it’ll make you _uncomfortable._ ”

He watched the gears turn in Minho’s head and click into place, then Minho’s jaw dropped.

“Are you saying _you’re_ gay, Hyunjin?” he said, in a weird accusing tone. “What was all that about Jeongyeon then?”

Hyunjin didn’t know what to say. He never said he was gay and had only admitted to maybe liking guys. That had been a huge step for him, to open up about something that had been plaguing him for months. He thought – and he’d wanted Minho to be there for him.

Minho had chosen to jump to conclusions and assume being straight was the default for everyone. You were either straight or gay to Minho. Hyunjin deviated from this norm but Minho didn’t see a spectrum. It was just one or the other for him.

“I did like Jeongyeon,” said Hyunjin but his voice came out feebly, like a weak protest. Disbelief crossed Minho’s face. “I-I’ve just been thinking! That maybe I like guys too!”

“You can’t like both at the same time,” remarked Minho, “That doesn’t make sense. Dude, you’re just confused, it’ll pass.”

“Why are you dismissins my feelings like that?” spat Hyunjin, anger finally reaching into his voice. Minho stiffened on the sofa at his tone.

“B-because it doesn't make any sense!” sputtered Minho. “You’re not actually serious, are you?”

“What if I am?” Hyunjin responded, deadly quiet. Then the rage finally overwhelmed him. “Do you know h-how _hard_ it was for me to even find the courage to tell you?”

Minho was shocked into silence and he just stared.

Hyunjin wanted to be cool and strong and shout at Minho, tell him to fuck off and leave dramatically in a whirlwind. But his anger wasn’t hot and dry like that, it was dampened by the tears that were running, unbidden from his eyes. It was wet anger, where his voice cracked and he could hardly breathe or speak from how upset he was.

“Y-you told me that you’d a-always be there for me!” Hyunjin choked out. “You _said_ I should tell you if-if something was bothering me!”

“Well, I didn’t think it would be something like this!” retorted Minho, resentment creeping into his eyes. “I meant… _normal_ problems, that teenagers…people our age have!”

Hyunjin let out a great sob. He knew he must look pathetic, dripping in tears and snot, trying to yell at Minho but failing miserably.

“H-have you ever thought I _want_ to be normal!” sobbed Hyunjin, hardly seeing straight. The tears blurred his vision so he couldn’t see what kind of face Minho was making. “I don’t c-control how I feel! You should know that! I guess I c-can’t rely on you to be there for me.”

He let out a gasp, followed by another heaving sob. “I’m sorry I’m not a _normal_ person!” Unable to bear it anymore, Hyunjin ran to Minho’s front door and fumbled with the lock.

Minho didn’t move from his spot on the sofa, rooted to the spot.

“Look,” Minho began pleadingly. “Just calm down, Hyunjin. You’re being overdramatic.” There was an unspoken ‘again’ that infuriated Hyunjin.

“Good night!” hissed Hyunjin and he slammed the door with as much strength as he could muster, not caring if it woke up Minho’s family.

Fuck Minho. Fuck them too.

He sprinted down Minho’s street till he was at the road his house was on. No, he couldn’t go back home. His parents would ask why he was back early and one look at his face would be enough to know some argument had gone down. And he didn’t want to see Minho, even if Minho wanted to find him to apologise or something.

_Jeongin. I need to see Jeongin._

He knew he hadn’t been the best to him since making up with Minho but Jeongin was the only other person he could depend on. He wouldn’t tell Jeongin what happened, he was too scared of another response like Minho’s. Then he would be alone.

For now, Hyunjin ran madly in the direction of Jeongin’s apartment, not caring that his lungs were burning with lava and the muscles in his legs were stinging with exertion. A stitch was throbbing in his side but he couldn’t stop.

He would just make up some excuse, ask Jeongin if he could stay with him for the night. If Jeongin refused, well, Hyunjin would rather sleep outside than go home.

As he ran, his pain flowed through his veins and with each pant Hyunjin took, some of it dispelled in the cold air with his breath.

On reaching the building where Jeongin’s apartment was, Hyunjin skidded to a halt and immediately doubled over, breathing enough for two people.

It was midnight and here he was on all fours, panting at the ground while the moon and stars judged him from above.

When he regained his breath, Hyunjin pulled out some tissues and cleaned himself up, trying to hold on to some semblance of normality. The word made him scoff aloud.

He dialled Jeongin’s apartment number and waited as the dialling tone rang shrilly into the silence of the night.

“Hello?” Jeongin’s voice, bleary with sleep rang out the speaker.

“Jeongin, it’s Hyunjin,” There was sharp intake of breath, crackly with static.

“P-please can I come in?”

“Hyunjin, it’s past midnight,” said Jeongin sharply. His voice wasn’t welcoming.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” garbled Hyunjin desperately. “Please. _Please_.”

Maybe Jeongin heard the desperation or took pity on him, and there was a beep as the gate unlocked. Hyunjin gratefully pulled it open and made his way up the stairs to Jeongin’s floor.

When he got to the top, Jeongin was there, holding the door open and looking extremely unimpressed.

Hyunjin supposed he deserved it. But for now, he was so thankful that he could have collapsed in a pile on the floor.

*

Hyunjin stepped over the threshold and tripped, sprawling face first across the floor, sending what he was holding skidding across the floor into the wall with a loud bang. Thank god Jeongin’s father was an extremely heavy sleeper who wouldn’t wake up even if a helicopter crashed into the apartment.

The neighbours unfortunately were lighter sleepers and there was angry knocking from upstairs and downstairs.

Jeongin held out a hand and Hyunjin pulled himself off the floor, hair ruffled.

“Why are you here, Hyunjin?” said Jeongin, arms crossed. Part of him wanted to do everything he could to help Hyunjin but it was overruled. His self-respecting side wouldn't allow it.

“I was at Minho’s and-”

“So why are you here?” repeated Jeongin, wanting him to get to the point.

“We had a fight and…I left but I couldn’t go home so-so I came here.” His voice was shaky. A pang of sympathy stirred in Jeongin but he ignored it.

“Why can’t you go home then?” Hyunjin looked bewildered, like he couldn’t understand why Jeongin was being so cold to him.

Well, Jeongin was tired of Hyunjin’s hot and cold treatment. As much as he liked Hyunjin, he couldn’t throw his own life to the floor every time Hyunjin was upset. Jeongin was doing himself a disservice by doing that. His father had drilled that into him early on. To only accept what you deserve.

“If I go home, my parents will know something’s wrong and Minho might try to talk to me, but I don’t want to see him so…you were the first person I thought of.”

“You want to spend the night here?”

Hyunjin at least had the decency to look apologetic and gave Jeongin a very small nod.

“Hyunjin,” began Jeongin firmly, but not unkindly. “I don’t want to be someone you run to every time you fall out with your best friend."

"You're not!" shot back Hyunjin immediately, but fell silent again when he saw Jeongin's expression.

"I’m not your therapist and it’s not my job to pick up the pieces when you get upset.”

“What do you mean?” stammered Hyunjin, betrayal creeping into his eyes. “You’re also my best friend, Jeongin!”

“Then why have you been blowing me off ever since you made up with Minho again?” retorted Jeongin, unable to stop the bitterness in his tone. “Every time I want to hang out with you, you say no but you, you don’t say no to Minho!”

“I’m sorry,” said Hyunjin timidly. “I really am, Jeongin. I didn’t know I was hurting you so much.”

That almost made Jeongin laugh. He really wanted to tell Hyunjin ‘it’s not all about you’ but it virtually was.

“Look, you can’t just treat me like shit for a while then expect me to help you. I’m not going to be your second choice.” Jeongin swallowed hard and carried on. “I don’t exist in your life to comfort you when you need it. If you’re going to treat me like that then just don’t-just don’t be my friend at all!”

_And let me mourn my broken heart in peace._

Their relationship was getting too unhealthy, so Jeongin would put a stop to it even if he hated the way Hyunjin stiffened his shoulders and wanted to rush over and take away the sadness in his eyes. Jeongin didn’t want to be the reason Hyunjin was sad, but he couldn’t live like this any longer, pining hopelessly over someone who would never like him back.

*

Hyunjin was shocked, struck by a bolt from the blue, but then he was indignant. He was already stung to the core and Jeongin wasn’t softening the blow.

It was too much to deal with. He could hardly tell Jeongin the real reason- that he was a becoming a stuttering mess around Jeongin. Hyunjin couldn’t just say Jeongin shone so brightly that it made him too flustered to function.

The injustice of it all made Hyunjin so mad. He hadn’t wanted to ignore Jeongin and hurt him but at the same time, that was the reality he was forced to accept.

“Well, why did you comfort me the first time then?” spat Hyunjin acidly. “I never asked you to!”

Jeongin’s mouth bobbed open and close like a goldfish, a look of utter betrayal etched on his features. He staggered like Hyunjin had punched him and gripped harder onto the door handle for support. For a moment, Hyunjin thought he was going to cry. Then Jeongin straightened up and his expression hardened.

“I don’t even know what to say to that,” he said flatly. Jeongin unlocked the door again and held it open. His voice had been emotionless, but his bottom lip wobbled precariously.

“Can you leave?”

No! Why was everything going wrong? Why did Hyunjin always fuck up things like this? Hyunjin clapped his hands over his mouth, not believing what he had just said.

“Jeongin, I’m sorry,” he babbled frantically, tearing up again. God, his eyes were bottomless pools. “I didn’t mean it, I really didn’t mean it, I’m just so exhausted.”

“I’m tired of your excuses, Hyunjin,” replied Jeongin in that emotionless tone. It almost broke Hyunjin. “Get out my house.”

Terror flashed through Hyunjin, what could he do, how could he fix this? He sniffed, gathering up his bags from the floor.

“Jeongin, please,” he begged, looking at Jeongin, who refused to meet his eyes. “I can’t explain right now and I’m so sorry, I don’t think that at all, I don’t deserve you-”

Jeongin made a pained noise, eyes sparkling in the light with unshed tears.

“That’s right.” He interrupted Hyunjin, but not angrily. He sounded very, very weary.

“Please just let me stay here tonight, I’ll sleep on the floor, anywhere, I don’t care!” Hyunjin collapsed onto his knees and bent so low his head touched the floorboards.

“Please believe me!” said Hyunjin, with all his conviction. “I’ll make it up to you, I promise. Please forgive me.”

He knelt there, forehead pressed to the cold ground, not moving. He didn’t hear any movement or sound from Jeongin.

For what felt like hours, Hyunjin kneeled. He didn’t know how else to show how sorry he was. Hyunjin didn’t want to pressure Jeongin by any means and he knew it was a grand gesture but he really _was_ sorry and he didn’t know how to get Jeongin to believe him.

So, he waited.

*

“Get up, Hyunjin,” Jeongin gave the sigh of an utterly drained person and shut the door again, locking it.

Hyunjin didn’t budge from the floor.

“You can stay the night, OK? Please get off the floor!” Jeongin kind of hated himself. He’d told himself over and over he shouldn’t forgive Hyunjin for blowing him off, that he would hold a grudge but it was all pointless.

He missed Hyunjin with a yearning that he couldn’t describe. It made Jeongin uneasy that he was accepting Hyunjin but his heart told him to take a leap of faith and trust Hyunjin, believe that he wouldn’t ditch Jeongin again.

Hyunjin stood up, dust stuck in his fringe. He looked like he’d been through a windswept tunnel, his eyes were red and swollen.

Jeongin didn’t want to forgive him but…no one had ever bowed for him so desperately. He couldn’t see Hyunjin’s apology as anything but sincere. He tutted and reached up to Hyunjin’s fringe, brushing the dust away.

Hyunjin inhaled and squeezed his eyes shut as Jeongin’s fingers carded through his hair.

“Do you need to shower?” said Jeongin, “You know my dad won’t wake up.”

“I should shower,” agreed Hyunjin. “I ran here so I’m really sweaty. Don’t want to dirty your sheets.”

After Jeongin handed Hyunjin a towel and Hyunjin went to shower, Jeongin flopped onto his bed, trying to make sense of the situation.

A smile sneaked onto his face. Jeongin scowled but quickly gave way to a smile again. He was so whipped, it wasn’t funny. The resentment that had been building up had boiled over earlier and completely evaporated into the night air.

He was so pathetic; would he yield to anyone who kneeled before him? Overpowering that line of thought was how good it was to be wanted that badly. Hyunjin wanted to be his friend that badly.

_Until the next time he abandons you._

All Jeongin wanted to do was fall back into Hyunjin again and enjoy what he could before high school finished. He’d regret forgiving Hyunjin, he was sure of it but he just wanted to cast away his doubts and _believe._ His pessimism didn’t help.

Meeting Hyunjin had made his life so dramatic. Jeongin could almost believe he was in a teen drama or something. Except couples in dramas got happy endings.

When Hyunjin emerged from the bathroom, his hair was damp and floppy and cheeks flushed. Jeongin struggled to bite back a smile.

“I can sleep on the floor” offered Hyunjin. “Is there a futon I could use?”

Right. They were in Jeongin’s room. It wasn’t tiny but it was cramped with all the piles of stuff Jeongin had all over his room. Jeongin doubted Hyunjin could stretch out properly on the floor.

“We could just share my bed,” he dared to say. Two pink spots flared on Hyunjin’s cheeks.

Wow, Jeongin couldn’t believe he’d gotten so bold. Perhaps seeing Hyunjin so timid had empowered him. It was strange but Hyunjin felt less unattainable than before.

“I-I don’t know,” stuttered Hyunjin, looking like he was trying to think of an excuse.

“We usually stay pretty close in my dad’s bed,” said Jeongin breezily, hoping it didn’t come out weird.

“Th-that’s true.” muttered Hyunjin, not moving from where he was standing. “Let’s do that then.”

Metaphorical steam was coming out of Hyunjin’s ears. If he was an anime character, he would’ve had a nosebleed as soon as Jeongin mentioned sleeping together.

_I can get through this!_

He tried to hype himself up. He was Hwang Hyunjin, part of the Golden Duo! People were flustered by _him_ , not the other way around! Jeongin was just a boy, Hyunjin could deal with that!

Hyunjin could not deal with it. As Jeongin pulled the duvet over both of them, all Hyunjin could think about was how uncomfortable a single bed was for two people. Hyunjin’s butt was pressed against the wall and Jeongin’s bony hip was digging into him. The only way they could fit was sleeping on their sides.

Hyunjin refused to face Jeongin. He was very certain that Jeongin would wake up to feel Hyunjin’s morning wood pressing into him if he did, so he rolled to face the wall, safe from violating Jeongin.

Hyunjin almost screamed as he felt Jeongin turn and Jeongin’s arms slip around his torso.

“Is this okay?” murmured Jeongin into Hyunjin’s neck.

Hyunjin thought he was going to explode; he was heating up like a furnace and his whole body was probably the colour of a steamed lobster.

“Yeah,” he breathed slowly. Oh god, Jeongin’s knees were nudging the back of his thighs. How on earth was he meant to sleep?

Jeongin had no problem and his breathing evened out in seconds.

Jeongin obviously didn’t like him, there was no way anyone could keep their composure in a situation like this.

Eventually all the noisy thoughts fell silent and Hyunjin drifted off too, warm and content.

*

Nothing quite attracted a snake like paradise. Was that the reason why bad things kept happening to Hyunjin?

Even in his dreams, there was a sense of impending doom. He was on holiday with his family on a Greek Island, but all the roads were flooding. Then the locals on the island tried to brutally murder all the tourists. Hyunjin spent the better part of his dream escaping from angry Greeks, only to awaken with some swearing.

The sunlight trickled through the blinds straight into Hyunjin’s eyes so he groaned and shifted himself, only to press himself further into Jeongin, who was still wrapped around him. His eyes grew to dinner plates as Hyunjin realised they’d shifted around in their sleep.

After Hyunjin pried himself out of bed without waking Jeongin, no one had to know if he spent slightly too long in the bathroom.

*

When Jeongin stumbled into the kitchen, he saw that Hyunjin was frying the eggs and his father was at the table, reading the paper, a mug of coffee in front of him. It was very domestic.

“Mornin’,” he greeted, voice still raspy with sleep and walked over to Hyunjin. “Did you sleep well?”

“As well as you can sleep with two people in a single bed,” replied Hyunjin then his ears turned red beneath his hair. 

“Will someone explain to me why Hyunjin is here?” asked Jeongin’s father, folding up the newspaper in front of him.

Hyunjin switched the stove off and placed the fried eggs on top of bowls of rice. Jeongin stayed silent too and took the kimchi out the fridge.

When breakfast was assembled, Jeongin finally explained with the lie that Hyunjin went to a party that ended late and didn’t want his parents to know.

“What kind of party?” asked Jeongin’s father sternly. “Alcohol? Drugs? Underage s-”

“No!” sputtered Hyunjin as Jeongin gave his father the evil eye. “Just a casual friendly gathering, that kind of thing.” Jeongin’s father raised an eyebrow but didn’t interrogate further, to their collective relief.

They finished breakfast peacefully and Hyunjin returned to his room to pack his things up.

“Are you leaving?” Jeongin leant against the doorway, arms crossed.

Hyunjin picked up a stray sock off the floor.

“I don’t want to intrude,” he said honestly.

“Psh,” said Jeongin, “You already intruded yesterday, so you might as well stay longer.”

“Well, if that’s okay with you,” said Hyunjin sheepishly.

Jeongin was so fucking amazing. Hyunjin wanted to build a temple dedicated to him and carve his name into all the walls. He would visit that temple every day to pray. The leader of the Jeongin cult would be Hyunjin. He would make a statue and-

“Want to get your ass kicked on Mario Kart?” suggested Jeongin devilishly.

“Don’t you mean yours?” retorted Hyunjin, “How many times are you going to die on Rainbow Road this time?”

It seemed things would be alright between them.

*

It was another story at school.

Once again, a wall of silence had been built between Hyunjin and Minho. What was different though was that Hyunjin didn’t miss Minho like he had before. It wasn’t Hyunjin’s fault that Minho was an asshole so he wasn’t going to seek him out and apologise again.

When Minho realised his attitude was wrong, that was when Hyunjin would talk to him. Hyunjin still didn’t fully understand his sexuality but all he knew was Jeongin made his knees weak and that was enough.

From Minho’s current attitude towards him, it didn’t seem like Hyunjin would be receiving an apology anytime soon. He didn’t miss how Minho’s lip curled into a sneer when he saw Hyunjin or the scorn in Minho’s laugh when the teacher shouted at Hyunjin for flunking a test.

Hyunjin was disappointed that Minho’s own prejudice was blinding him but Hyunjin didn’t have the energy to educate him either. It wasn’t as if Hyunjin was the most woke person ever but at least he didn’t care about a person’s sexual orientation over their personality.

That didn’t stop him feeling really fucking angry every time Minho looked his way and he had to clench his fists to stop himself walking up to Minho and slogging him straight in the face.

He knew violence wouldn't resolve anything so he gritted his teeth and forced himself to think of Jeongin to calm down. That, and how Jeongin would be disappointed in him if he punched Minho.

True to his word, Hyunjin had been trying to make things up to Jeongin. He stopped avoiding the film crew and got closer to them, him and Jeongin would often hang out with Felix, Seungmin and Jisung. It was nice to be friends with Jeongin’s friends.

After their fight, the line drawn for friendship seemed to be blurring to Hyunjin. If they were a boy and girl, people undoubtedly would accuse them of dating. Sleeping together aside, Hyunjin found his own skinship being returned with equal ferocity from Jeongin. It wasn’t uncommon for Jeongin to creep up behind Hyunjin and surprise him with a back hug.

Sometimes, Jeongin bought side dishes from home that he thought Hyunjin would like and they’d share and feed each other. It made Hyunjin think about confessing, that maybe Jeongin liked him back, but Hyunjin couldn’t tell.

It was different liking a friend compared to liking a stranger. With Jeongyeon, Hyunjin had a lot less to lose, if she rejected him, that was the end of that and they could go on their separate ways. Hyunjin didn’t dare to lose what he had with Jeongin now.

*

“Hey Hyunjin, when did you and Jeongin get so close?” Seungmin asked. They were at the vending machines, Seungmin having wanted to get coffee.

“It was after the…you know,” mumbled Hyunjin, unwilling to say it outright. Thankfully, Seungmin had enough common sense to be tactful and just acknowledged him with a nod.

“Are you guys secretly dating?” was Seungmin’s next question. Hyunjin dropped the coffee milk he was holding in shock. Seungmin seemed to take his silence as confirmation.

“Hey, I don’t care,” Seungmin shrugged. “My sister has gay friends in America, it’s not a big deal. At least, not to me and Felix. I’m pretty sure Jisung wouldn’t care either. You can tell us if you want.”

“No, what I mean is…we’re not dating!” Seungmin raised an eyebrow.

“Oh, never mind,” He paid for his coffee and bent down to take it. “Pretend I didn’t say anything. You guys act so much like a couple I just assumed.”

After that peculiar conversation which Seungmin never mentioned, Hyunjin knew that he’d have friends to fall back on if Jeongin rejected him. If he ever confessed…which was probably never. But they were Jeongin’s friends too…so that was still awkward.

 _Keep your spirits up, Hwang Hyunjin,_ he thought dully and resumed watching Jeongin doze in his chair. He reached out a hand to move Jeongin’s hair away from his eyes and hesitated. It felt forbidden, like how it had been with Jeongyeon.

In the row behind him, Seungmin smirked to himself.

*

“For this social studies topic, we will be doing a pair project!” announced the teacher threateningly. “This will count for a fifth of your grades.”

Jeongin whipped around to look at Hyunjin who nodded at him. Of course they would pair together.

“I've already put the class into pairs.” Quite a few faces fell, including Jeongin’s.

Hyunjin was paired with Jisung, not the loud-mouthed one, but the other one, Park Jisung. Jeongin’s heart thudded as the teacher called out “Jeongin and Minho.”

“Hi,” greeted Jeongin stiffly as he moved his things to Minho’s desk. The tension between them was palpable. It must've been blatantly apparent to Minho that Jeongin seemed to be Hyunjin’s replacement for him.

Jeongin still didn’t know what had happened in the fight between Minho and Hyunjin that night as Hyunjin had completely clammed up when he asked. Since then, Jeongin had made a few fruitless attempts. Consequently, he'd dropped the subject altogether.

“How do you want to split the work?” Minho asked nonchalantly. From an outsider's perspective, no one would have suspected there was drama going on behind the scenes.

“I don’t mind doing the research and finding sources,” said Jeongin, “But I’m really bad with displaying and presentation and all that.”

“That’s fine,” said Minho and he scribbled something down onto his notebook. “I don’t mind doing the design of the poster and we can type it up together.”

Doing the project with Minho wasn’t as bad as Jeongin initially expected. Hyunjin sometimes asked how it was going but all Jeongin could say was it was going well. Minho was treating it as if they were just classmates who weren't close.

Until one day. It was inevitable, Jeongin supposed. Their stories were so connected by Hyunjin that it was impossible to avoid the subject forever.

It was now April and spring was well on its way. The plants on Jeongin’s balcony were all thriving and each day was getting warmer.

The project for social studies was set over a four-week period and it had come to the last week.

Social studies was the last period of the day so technically school had ended, but Jeongin and Minho stayed a little later, as they were close to finished with their project. By now, most people had gone home. Hyunjin had gone to the library to return a book and Jeongin had said he’d meet him at the school gates.

He was walking with Minho towards the computer rooms to print out the work they’d finished. All they had left after was to cut them out and stick it to the board that Minho had decorated.

“How’s Hyunjin these days?” asked Minho out of the blue as they stood by the printer, waiting for all their documents.

“He’s good, I guess?” answered Jeongin, feeling uneasy. “Have you talked to him since…”

He trailed off and cursed himself for his lack of tact. Minho shrugged.

“Well, you’d know, wouldn’t you?” Jeongin didn’t like the sound of Minho’s tone.

“Haha, I guess so,” said Jeongin, treading carefully. Minho still intimidated him somehow. He had such overflowing charisma that it made Jeongin nervous.

He wanted the conversation to stay on neutral ground but really, it was out of his hands. 

“Don’t you care though?” There was part mirth, part curiosity in Minho's voice. 

“Care about what?” Jeongin honestly wasn’t trying to be dumb. He was totally clueless as to what Minho was asking about.

Minho snorted. “He didn’t tell you?”

“Tell me what?” demanded Jeongin. As far as he knew, Hyunjin told him nearly everything, having already exposed himself in his most vulnerable state to Jeongin.

They took a turn in the corridor and headed back down the stairs towards the classroom where their lockers were.

“Didn’t he tell you why we’re not talking anymore?”

“Because you guys had a fight, that’s all I know,” admitted Jeongin. He felt as if he was strapped into the backseat of a car as Minho drove it recklessly to the edge of the precipice, dangerously out of control.

Minho chuckled, but it wasn’t a good chuckle. It felt menacing.

“He told me he likes guys.” Time slowed and played frame by frame until it completely froze.

Jeongin’s heart stopped. The butterflies in his stomach that had been drifting lazily till now beat their wings in a frenzy. The shock registered on his face for Minho to see.

“How is that a reason not to talk?” said Jeongin a low voice, rage gathering in the pit of stomach. The butterflies were stirring up a storm inside him.

“He’s the one not talking to me,” shrugged Minho casually.

“What did you say to him?” spat Jeongin, his grip tightening on the sheet he was carrying.

“Hey, watch it, you’ll wrinkle the paper!” exclaimed Minho. He stopped walking and they stood at the corner that turned to the corridor the classroom was on.

“What did you say to him?” repeated Jeongin with gritted teeth. Minho must have said something bad. He suddenly remembered how Hyunjin’s voice had sounded through the intercom as he asked Jeongin to let him in that night.

“Nothing much,” replied Minho shortly. “He brought it up himself and asked me if I liked guys. I said no and explained why then he got all pissed and left.”

“So what if he likes guys?” said Jeongin. “It doesn’t affect your friendship.”

Minho parted his lips as if he was about to speak then thought better of it.

“Why do you care so much anyway?” he said instead. Jeongin normally would have noticed Minho was avoiding the question but he was too aggravated to be observant.

“Because there’s nothing wrong with liking guys,” replied Jeongin frostily. “Hyunjin is a great person so I don’t understand why something small like that is worth not talking over.”

Minho made an aborted movement, a quick jerk, and for a second Jeongin thought Minho was about to strike him. Then Minho stilled and a glimmer of realisation appeared in his eyes. He had peered past Jeongin, right down into him.

He let out a harsh laugh that was more like a bark.

Minho smirked at Jeongin in a cruel pitying way. There was a scraping noise from behind them but neither of them paid it any attention, totally focused on glaring at each other.

“I know why you’re offended now,” said Minho with the air of a great detective solving a difficult case. “You like Hyunjin.”

Panic gripped Jeongin, he didn’t know what to say so he said nothing. He felt sweat gather on the back of his neck even though it was cool in the corridor, AC whooshing past him.

“Is that why you rushed to him after he made a fool out of himself?”

Still, Jeongin said nothing and stared blankly past Minho, not seeing.

“Even if Hyunjin is gay,” continued Minho, “he would never want a sad hanger-on like you.”

This wasn’t news to Jeongin, he had repeated the same phrase to himself hundreds of times before. However, it hurt worse said out loud, it seemed more Minho like was stating a fact. A red wax stamp on Jeongin's application form. _Hyunjin doesn't want you._

“In fact,” carried on Minho with the same nonchalant tone, like every word wasn't a careful punch to Jeongin's gut, “he’s probably ashamed to hang out with you. You’re just someone he runs to when he doesn't want to come to me. You’re a last resort.”

Something in Jeongin snapped at that. All his fears and insecurities slipped from his mind and in that moment, he was absolutely invincible, shining brilliant gold with untapped power. He’d heard those words more than anyone else from himself. He didn’t need to hear it from Minho. It didn’t invalidate his feelings for Hyunjin. So what?

“So what?” scoffed Jeongin, finally uncaring. 

The weak, cracked porcelain shell encased around him shattered and fell to tiny pieces on the ground. He stepped out of the remains of his hollow shell. It hadn't been broken by Minho, but from the inside. By his own strength, Jeongin could stop hiding his feelings and confront them in the open. 

“So what?”

It was exhilarating to say after three years of pretence.

Minho raised his eyebrows, clearly taken aback. Before he could retort, Jeongin spoke again.

“Even if he’s ashamed of being my friend, I’m not ashamed of liking Hyunjin!” he snapped. For the first time, it felt good to admit it out loud. “Yes, I like Hyunjin! I've liked him for three years and I'm not afraid to admit it! I love Hwang fucking Hyunjin!”

The sheets in his hand were scrunched but that was hardly Jeongin's problem. He turned on his heel to round the corner and stalk back into the classroom before Minho could react when there was a loud thump.

Jeongin turned the corner only to see Hyunjin standing at the doorway looking completely gobsmacked, having just dropped Jeongin’s rucksack onto the floor.

*

_Oh god. Oh shit. Oh fuck. Jesus! Dad! God! Help!_

How much had Hyunjin heard? Judging from the look on his face, enough to know.

Jeongin's earlier bravado dried up and deserted him immediately. His fight or flight instinct kicked in and he chose to flee. Dropping the crumpled sheets onto the floor, Jeongin ran, shoving past Minho, whose face dawned with understanding.

He ignored this and only kept his focus on reaching the school gates, not hearing the footsteps pounding behind him.

*

As soon as Jeongin came face to face with Hyunjin, Hyunjin was too blown away to speak. Terror crossed Jeongin’s face before he immediately ran down the corridor.

Steeling himself, Hyunjin strode up to Minho and without saying anything, delivered a satisfying jab to his face, hearing it land with a loud _crack_.

“Fuck you, Lee Minho!” hollered Hyunjin before he took off, hot on the heels of Jeongin. God, he could run fast when he wanted. He watched Jeongin's sprinting figure disappear behind a row of buildings. But Hyunjin was naturally athletic and sped up to match Jeongin’s pace.

“Jeongin!” he roared, startling several people on the pavement. A few shot him a dirty glare.

In response, Jeongin only ran faster. Shit.

Jeongin got to a traffic crossing and the traffic light started to flashed from amber to green. But Jeongin wasn’t looking, completely fuelled by the urge to escape.

That was when Hyunjin caught up to him, grabbing the back of Jeongin’s collar before the idiot rushed into the traffic and got ran over. 

Jeongin seized up in fright and turned around, presumably to thank whoever saved him until he saw it was Hyunjin. Then his face fell.

“You heard it all,” said Jeongin accusingly. “You heard everything, didn’t you?”

Hyunjin didn’t reply to his question.

"You hate me now, don't you?" Jeongin spoke like it was a well-rehearsed speech. "You think I'm disgusting. I'm weird, a freak-"

“Let’s go somewhere quieter and talk,” Hyunjin simply said, much calmer than how he felt. Jeongin allowed Hyunjin to steer him to an empty children’s playground, looking rather drained. He was also drenched with sweat, hair stuck to his forehead.

They walked through past the swings to a clearing by the trees, that lead to a woodland footpath. There was a metal bench not far ahead.

By this time, Hyunjin was oddly at peace. He liked Jeongin and Jeongin liked him back. Wasn’t that too good to be true?

Uncertainty set in again. What if he had heard wrong, or misunderstood the situation?

Jeongin sat away from Hyunjin on the very edge of the bench and Hyunjin gingerly set the rucksack at his feet.

“Thanks,” said Jeongin a small voice and then he burst into tears. 

“Jeongin,” gasped Hyunjin, affronted. He rustled through his bags for tissues and found a crumpled one at the bottom of his bag, coated in fluff. He dusted it off and hastily and handed it to Jeongin, who blew his nose.

“You weren’t meant to find out,” hiccupped Jeongin, wiping his nose clumsily with his sleeve. “You can stop being my friend now.”

“Jeongin, stop talking,” said Hyunjin and they fell into an awkward silence. An owl hooted behind them.

“Could you say what you said again?” Jeongin glared tearily at him, grip tightening on the soggy tissue and tearing it in half. Hyunjin handed him the whole packet.

"I didn't say anything, I take it back, I regret it, whatever." 

“Just say it again, I need make sure I didn’t mishear!" said Hyunjin sharply, heart hammering beneath his ribs.

Jeongin’s face wrinkled in confusion. He looked at Hyunjin as if he was an idiot.

“What is there to mishear," Jeongin snivelled, “I was literally shouted my feelings for you to the world."

Hyunjin squealed with relief. Pure bliss washed over him. He scooted closer to Jeongin on the bench, grinning from ear to ear.

Jeongin almost shuffled right off the bench onto the floor at the sudden proximity. He turned stiff as a board and kept his vision fixed firmly on the trees in front of them.

“Hey Jeongin,” said Hyunjin, “Can you look at me?”

Jeongin moved a fraction to face him. Impatient with anticipation, Hyunjin grabbed his wrist. Jeongin jumped like he’d placed his hand on a hot surface and whipped round but finally he was facing Hyunjin.

His expression morphed to befuddled as he saw Hyunjin’s smile.

“Jeongin, I like you too!” declared Hyunjin.

“Don’t joke with me,” growled Jeongin, trying to rip his wrist out of Hyunjin’s grasp.

“I’m not joking, Innie,” said Hyunjin seriously. “I only realised after you held my hand at the festival, but I started liking you ever since you invited me to your house.”

“You’re joking,” whispered Jeongin, wiping his eyes. “You have got to be kidding me.”

“I’m really not,” insisted Hyunjin, “I’m, like, exclusively gay for you. Head over heels.”

“That’s not how it works, you can’t get over someone that fast,” said Jeongin, but he wasn’t crying anymore. “You’re one hundred percent serious?”

Hyunjin nodded meekly. “The way I liked Jeongyeon isn’t how I like you. I swear to God.”

“Do you know how long I’ve liked you, you dumb bastard?” Jeongin thought he had died and gone to heaven. Was Hwang Hyunjin really saying that he, out of all people, had _liked_ Jeongin? His feelings were actually being reciprocated?

"You said three years, didn't you?" 

Jeongin sighed and nodded.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t like you then,” Hyunjin said breathlessly. “But I do now.”

Jeongin’s mind reeled in shock. He blinked the last few tears out his eyes and stared at Hwang Hyunjin full-on, skimming every beautiful feature. Someone with a face like this wanted _him_? Was he on another planet?

If so…

“If we like each other,” said Jeongin slowly, struck by inspiration. “Does that mean I can kiss you?”

Hyunjin was already leaning forward, eyes shut when he responded with a ‘yes’.

Jeongin kept his eyes wide open, wanting to see everything in the moment. The scent of earth and wood, the exact hue of the sky and Hyunjin’s face, getting closer as their lips brushed.

If he had closed his eyes, he probably would have bonked heads with Hyunjin. So there was that too.

Jeongin had always thought it was weird that people kissed each other when they liked the other. He had read somewhere that it was uncertain whether it was instinctive or learned. Was it really so good to have lip to lip contact with someone you liked?

Well, all those nerve endings weren’t there for no reason.

Kissing Hyunjin for the first time was awkward but warm. Jeongin had never kissed anyone so he didn’t really know what to do. At first, their lips just touched, sliding against each other softly.

Jeongin felt like he was on fire. He reached forward to place his hands on Hyunjin’s cheeks, wanting him closer. Hyunjin’s lips parted slightly so Jeongin followed his lead, Hyunjin probably was more experienced than him.

Their lips slotted together fully and Jeongin felt Hyunjin’s tongue run over his bottom lip and then he pulled away.

He needed to breathe; he’d been too awestruck and forgotten. Jeongin swallowed a gulp of air.

“That was really, really, good,” he said weakly. Hyunjin nodded, looking incredibly dazed.

Jeongin leaned in again and Hyunjin followed. The second time was easier but slightly wet as Jeongin noticed he was getting slobbery and pulled away to wipe his mouth.

“I suck at this,” he said forlornly, trying to hide his embarrassment.

“Nu-uh,” said Hyunjin, “This must be what drugs feel like. I think I’m high.”

Jeongin squinted at him suspiciously.

“I really hope you don’t take drugs.”

“I don’t.” Jeongin rolled his eyes.

“I’ve never kissed anyone before,” admitted Jeongin bashfully. Hyunjin held onto his hand, thoughtfully tracing patterns with his fingers.

“I hope I gave you a good first kiss,” sighed Hyunjin dreamily. “I can’t believe _I_ got to take your first kiss.”

Jeongin flushed.

“Maybe I should practice some more?”

“I’m happy to teach you,” said Hyunjin and this time he initiated the kiss.

*

When they pulled apart sometime later, lips swollen and hair messed up, Jeongin glanced at his watch. Oh crap, it was getting late. He had a message from his father asking where the hell he was.

“We should go home now,” said Jeongin, sending a text to relieve his father. Hyunjin pouted but reluctantly got up from the bench.

“One for goodbye?” Hyunjin tapped his cheek.

_Oh._

Jeongin didn’t know such an innocent gesture would make him so flustered. He pushed himself onto his tiptoes and blew a raspberry on Hyunjin’s cheek instead.

“Ew, gross!” screeched Hyunjin, wiping his cheek with the cuff of his sleeve.

Our tongues were literally in each other’s mouths, thought Jeongin drily. Ah. He tried not to pass out at the thought.

“I’ll see you tomorrow.” This time, Jeongin reached up to bring Hyunjin’s mouth to his for a proper goodbye.

“Mmph,” said Hyunjin in surprise. “I’m so happy, Jeongin.”

“Bye,” said Jeongin. Then he paused. “Aren’t we going the same direction for a while though?”

“Oh yeah,” Hyunjin reached out a hand.

“Hold hands?” Jeongin suggested, clasping Hyunjin’s outstretched hand.

Both of them were pretty eager, it seemed. Jeongin still didn’t fully believe what was happening, he’d have to wake up tomorrow morning and check if it this was real.

“We should let go if someone comes,” said Jeongin. Hyunjin murmured in agreement. The walk home was marginally stressful, the two of them jumping apart every time they heard footsteps or noise behind them.

But the exhilaration and rush of their confessions was still hanging over them so it was with permanent smiles that they made their way home.

“Minho wouldn’t tell anyone, right?” said Jeongin anxiously, suddenly remembering.

“I don’t think so,” Hyunjin said, but he sounded unsure. “He didn’t tell anyone as far as I know about our fight, but we should watch out.”

They resumed linking hands; fingers entwined as they crossed the bridge. Hyunjin’s palm was sweaty and Jeongin was pretty sure his was too but neither of them wanted to let go.

As they approached the road where they had to go their separate ways, Jeongin found himself praying to whatever force out there that this was really reality.

“We should make a promise to only bring happiness to each other,” said Hyunjin, scratching his head awkwardly. “I know it’s cheesy but…”

“You make it sound like we’re dating now,” said Jeongin. Oh. “Are we dating now? Do you want to date?”

“I thought we were already,” shrugged Hyunjin. He was trying to play cool, but his face turned red, giving him away. “Do you promise?”

Jeongin leaned into Hyunjin’s side at the intersection and they watched the cars roar past.

“I, Yang Jeongin, promise to do my utmost to only bring happiness to Hwang Hyunjin.” He stuck out his pinkie finger.

Hyunjin laughed and linked his own pinkie with Jeongin’s.

“And I, Hwang Hyunjin, promise to do my best to only bring happiness to Yang Jeongin,” They shook on their pinkies.

For a while they held their pinkies together, still as statues amidst the zooming cars. The feeling of being infinite came back to Jeongin.

“Yang Jeongin is my boyfriend,” said Hyunjin almost shyly. “I’ve never had a boyfriend before.”

“I’ve never been in a relationship, full stop,” countered Jeongin. “My boyfriend Hyunjin. It sounds nice, doesn’t it?”

His phone started vibrating with an incoming call from his father.

“Okay, I really have to go now,” said Jeongin and he waved goodbye to Hyunjin who waved with both hands enthusiastically like a puppy.

Jeongin didn’t know what he’d done in his past life to deserve this but he was very, very glad.

*

The next day at lunch, Seungmin shot Hyunjin a knowing look.

“Hyunjin, want to go to the vending machine?” He pinched Hyunjin on the thigh.

“Oi!” yelped Hyunjin but he stood up, nonetheless. His gaze landed on Jeongin with a fond smile.

As soon as they were out of earshot of the others, Seungmin launched his interrogation.

“You got together with Jeongin, didn’t you?”

Hyunjin walked face first into door and fell backwards.

“Are you telepathic?” he hissed, massaging his throbbing forehead.

“Hm,” said Seungmin cryptically. No, he wasn’t but it was glaringly obvious. The subtle touches and loving gazes were sickeningly apparent to someone perceptive as Seungmin. A passer-by most likely wouldn’t pick up on it, but Seungmin was refined in the art of people-watching.

“Congratulations, Hyunjin,” He made up his mind to congratulate Jeongin if he got him alone later as well.

Wasn’t young love so beautiful? Seungmin smiled in a fatherly way. He’d noticed Jeongin’s crush long ago and he’d never thought Hyunjin would like him back. Sometimes the unexpected was good though.

In the classroom, Jisung waggled his eyebrows at Felix as Seungmin and Hyunjin stepped back into the classroom. Jeongin immediately got up and walked over to them.

“Jeongin, I got a drink for you too,” Felix overheard the conversation and hid a smile behind his hands.

“Hyunjin would never buy us a drink, would he?” quipped Jisung. “Looks like someone manned up and confessed.”

Felix coughed. “I think Hyunjin only wouldn’t buy you a drink.”

“Hey!” gasped Jisung in mock offense.

Felix held up his hands and shrugged as a peace offering. He was glad for the new couple, Hyunjin and Jeongin were really very cute together. 

Seungmin caught their eye and jerked his head at Jeongin and Hyunjin and gave Felix and Jisung a quick wink.

Sooner or later, Felix and Jisung were going to reveal they knew. That was when the teasing could begin, thought Seungmin evilly.

*

After the turbulent events of spring, summer had arrived. It was now June, nearing both exams and summer break. It had been roughly two months since the confession.

Luckily for Jeongin, he had woken up the following day and left his house to see Hyunjin waiting outside sheepishly.

“I wasn’t dreaming, was I?” he had asked Hyunjin. Jeongin hadn’t even dared tell his father in case it was a fever dream.

“We pinkie promised,” said Hyunjin meaningfully. “C’mon, let’s go to school.”

Minho hadn’t approached them since The Incident but he’d stopped the mocking looks he used to send at Hyunjin. Jeongin hoped for Hyunjin’s sake that Minho would come around soon. After the fight, Minho had typed up the project himself and handed it in, without speaking to Jeongin at all, earning them both high marks. This made Jeongin believe Minho wasn’t entirely an asshole, only around the edges. It didn't stop an enormous amount of resentment towards the bastard though.

To Jeongin and Hyunjin’s mortification, Jisung and Felix had revealed they knew about them dating and ever since, Seungmin had been in a better mood than Jeongin had ever seen, mercilessly teasing them. He also had another target, which was teasing Changbin about Felix and vice versa. Hyunjin was starting to believe Seungmin’s only agenda was to make everyone’s life hell. How someone like him got to be vice president, Hyunjin would never understand. Seungmin could have made a deal with the devil and Hyunjin wouldn’t be surprised.

Right now, it was eight in the evening and the sun was starting to slide below the horizon. Jeongin and Hyunjin were in the playground they’d walked through to get to the woods on the day of their confession.

All the children had long since gone home, so they were free to hold hands and watch the sunset.

They sat down on the kiddie swings and Hyunjin admired how still the evening air was. It was just him and Jeongin alone in the world.

_Even a fool knows this._

Jeongin smiled brightly at the butterflies flapping past and Hyunjin felt his heart overflow with affection. He hardly dared think what would have happened had Jeongin not rushed after Hyunjin on the rooftop.

_You’re the best thing I’ve got._

Jeongin might be his boyfriend but as of right now, he was also Hyunjin’s best friend. He couldn’t imagine anything better.

“Shall we go see the bench?” said Jeongin, getting up and dusting himself off.

“Let’s go,” said Hyunjin, reaching out to hold Jeongin’s outstretched hand.

_Once again towards you._

They walked through the clearing and past the trees. The breeze was refreshing and contrasted with the warmth of Jeongin’s hand in his.

_One more step, I will never stop._

Hyunjin swore firmly to himself he would never hurt Jeongin like he had before. He had matured and he was going to be a better person than during the school festival.

_I shouldn’t turn away._

Even if the future was full of unknown variables, Hyunjin would hold onto to this piece of happiness as long as he could.

They sat down on the bench and watched the shadows of the trees darken as the sky purpled. It should be scary but Jeongin felt safe with Hyunjin beside him.

_I know it because I’m a fool._

If the price of this was two years of mindless wishing and heartbreak, Jeongin would do it again without hesitation. Even with Hyunjin’s reassurance, his heart was still unsettled. Deep down, he was still afraid about one day Hyunjin telling him they should break up, that he didn’t actually like guys and it was all a phase. Jeongin was still waiting for that day to come even though he tried to convince himself it wouldn’t happen.

_I can’t live without you._

At this point, Hyunjin was weaved intricately into Jeongin’s heart. If he left, was ripped from his heart, Jeongin would be left with nothing but ruined pieces.

There were many things for him to worry about. The future was vast and scary, full of things like university and jobs and taxes. What if him and Hyunjin went to different universities? Could they even survive high school?

He rested his head against Hyunjin’s shoulder and sighed. Jeongin didn’t even know if how long his own feelings would last. Love was still an emotion and emotions were always unpredictable. Who knew if he’d fall out of love with Hyunjin himself? It seemed impossible right now, but who knew?

_Once again towards you._

“The future is uncertain, but you don’t need to stop yourself being happy by worrying now.” Hyunjin had told him before. It was much easier said than done, but every day the fear of being left behind dimmed ever so slightly like a flickering bulb that would run out eventually.

_One more step, I will never stop._

And even if Hyunjin left, Jeongin wouldn’t be passive like he had done for two years. He refused to watch Hyunjin’s back walking away from him. He would keep chasing and chasing.

_I’ll always be on track._

“Whatever happens in the future,” said Jeongin and his voice echoed around the forest back at him. “we should make another promise.”

“What is it?”

“That whatever happens, however our relationship turns out,” Jeongin inhaled and carried on. “Whatever happens, we’ll always remember the happy times we had together.”

“That sounds good to me.” Hyunjin linked their pinkies casually. “Do you think it’s time we re-enact our first kiss?”

The solemn mood broken, Jeongin slapped Hyunjin’s shoulder and cringed.

“How can you say things like that out loud?” complained Jeongin. “That’s so cheesy, oh my god.”

“And you love it,” retorted Hyunjin teasingly.

Jeongin begrudgingly allowed himself to smile.

“We’re both fools.”

“That’s kind of old fashioned,” said Hyunjin. “Wouldn’t it be better to say we’re both idiots?”

Jeongin wrapped his arms around Hyunjin’s neck and tilted his face up, bring Hyunjin closer to him, to shut him up before Hyunjin could spout any more nonsense.

This time, he wasn’t afraid to shut his eyes because he knew there would be many more times like this to come.

Even a fool knew that.

**Author's Note:**

> Whew, if you made it to the end, I'd love to hear what you thought!  
> Also disclaimer, I love Minho to pieces and don't actually think he's homophobic or an asshole, someone had to be a villain and Minho was the unfortunate sacrifice for the sake of plot. I love love love Minho so don't think I'm projecting my real thoughts towards him or anything.
> 
> I also switched the pov between characters a lot, I don't know if the transitions were clear but I really hope so. 
> 
> Thank you for reading this, I hope you enjoyed it.
> 
> Side note/update: A lovely comment has inspired me to explore the AU of this oneshot,  
> and I'm writing something which will be focused on Minsung at university and have a bit more angst. It will be a chaptered fic. 
> 
> Update: it's finished and being updated every week! Check it out if you're interested :)


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